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THE MAGICIANS Recap: A Bank Heist Goes Awry in ‘Plan B’

THE MAGICIANS Recap: A Bank Heist Goes Awry in ‘Plan B’

Warning: the following recap contains major spoilers from Wednesday’s episode of The Magicians, “Plan B.” It is a recap, after all! Don’t say we didn’t warn you …

The Magicians went all Ocean’s 11 this week, and it made for one of season two’s best episodes yet.

After Julia’s medical abortion didn’t work, it was on to Plan B—no, not that Plan B. It’s a bit too late for that. Kady’s connection turned out to be actual butchers who wanted to perform an exorcism on the non-human thing growing more and more tangled up in Julia’s essence as time goes on. But their price was a little steep: one million dollars. Seriously. So you know what that means: time to rob a bank! But they couldn’t do it alone.

Even regular, non-magical banks have magical wards set up for this very reason—to keep out criminal magicians looking to make off with a gold bar or two. While Julia and Kady were staking out their target, they were attacked by big, invisible monsters wielding wooden spoons, and it killed their Haxenpaxen, leaving them vulnerable and visible once more to Reynard, so Kady brought them back to Brakebills for safety.

Since space was limited, Dean Fog put Julia in Alice’s room, and let’s just say that Niffin Alice was not a big fan of that. She was stuck inside Quentin’s mind, and wanted to be free of his back tat trap, but he refused to let her out until he figured out how to un-Niffin her, so he was stuck with her loud, non-stop commentary . But Quentin tried to focus on his BFF, as Kady finally clued him in to everything they were going through/running from, leading Q and J to share an emotionally devastating heart-to-heart … almost ruined by Niffin Alice’s constant jeering. But damn, it was so good to see them back together again. Their rift has been so heartbreaking to watch fester for so long.

Syfy

Meanwhile, in Fillory, Margo’s declaration of war on the Lorians had already escalated to Lorian troops marching on Fillory. Add that to Eliot’s growing list of problems like how they’re broke and the Magical Wellspring still wasn’t stable, and all in all, things were not going well for the High King. So, they were in for the bank heist plan too to get a cut of the loot to fatten the Fillorian bank pockets. It was reunions all around, as Margo and Eliot reluctantly put aside their ill-will feelings towards Julia, Penny, and Kady made up in the biblical sense, and everyone followed Margo’s plan (since she had apparently robbed a bank once before in high school?). The heist was officially a go!

Thanks to some extra cool spells and a little time-bending, the bank robbing crew got to redo their heist over and over again until they got it right. But in order to save Penny from the trapped vault, Quentin had to make a deal with Niffin Alice: for an hour everyday going forward, she’ll be in control of Quentin’s body, and in exchange, she would help him with the right spell to pick the lock. But in the ensuing madness, the battle magician guard fatally wounded Eliot’s golem, causing his real body to have a seizure back in Fillory, and since Julia had to save them all with her time bending machine, more invisible demons attacked her.

Things got chaotic, and Kady saved Julia, but her injuries were severe. She took Julia and the gold they stole from the bank to the exorcists, paying their steep price. Julia regained consciousness later, and Kady told her they successfully exorcised the baby from Julia … but there was a complication. What complication?!

Syfy

MAGICAL MUSINGS:

– Niffin Alice is quickly becoming my favorite character with all her quick, hilarious, biting lines that only Quentin can hear. Her reaction to the idea of robbing a bank was fantastic—major props to Olivia Taylor Dudley for that performance. Eliot has always been the MVP when it comes to Quality Quotes, but will Niffin Alice edge him out of the top spot? TBD!

– When Penny and Kady ran into each other randomly in the Brakebills library, they immediately dropped everything – literally – to get it on in the stacks. Man, I’ve been waiting quite a long time for that reunion, and it did not disappoint! Let’s hope they continue their happy reunion and don’t get too bogged down in their past issues.

– Margo regressing back into her high school bank robbing persona was just pure magic. That voice! That confidence! Simply amazing.

– I need to get one of Eliot’s Wrecking Balls for my next party. Hey Syfy, where can I pick up one of those?

Syfy

QUALITY QUOTES:

Niffin Alice, to Quentin: Are you ready to let me out of that hairy back of yours? ‘Cause I’m never going to stop. And sooner or later one of these dummies are going to call the brain police and you’ve got priors.

Niffin Alice, to Quentin again: Oh, what, and you’re the world’s foremost expert on all things me? Based on what? Our garbage fire of a relationship that ended with Eliot’s dick in your mouth?

Julia: One million dollars?!
Her hired exorcist: In gold. Paper money is for drug dealers and idiots!

Julia, sarcastically: Might as well rob a bank.
Kady: Well … we are magicians. Why don’t we just rob a bank?

Margo: OK. Well, we’ve got literally every engineer in the kingdom working to de-s-tinate the Wellspring. I’m going to invent the guillotine in a hot second if they don’t get their s-t together.

Professor Lipson after checking up on Julia’s pregnancy: Have you seen the Twilight movies? Specifically the last one?
Julia: No … ?
Professor Lipson: Huh. That’s probably for the best. [once out of earshot] That poor girl is f-ked!

Quentin: I talked to Kady.
Niffin Alice: What, no respect for the dead, Q? You’re just going to let her sit on my bed?
Quentin: Jules, I don’t know what to say.
Julia: Say what you’re thinking. That I’m cursed. Must have been a serial killer in a past life.
Niffin Alice, raising her hand: Yeah, raise your hand if she’s the reason that you f-king exploded in this life?

Quentin: If there’s anything I can do …
Julia: Actually, there is. Help us rob a bank?
Niffin Alice, immediately: Oh my god, yas.

Syfy

Penny: It’s for Professor Mayakovsky.
Brakebills librarian: It was destroyed. By other books. Future Movements of Magic was written by a Polish scientist who happened to be a …
Penny: What?
Librarian: Jew. So the eugenics books came for it. I’m really sorry. They’ve been put in the restricted section with the other anti-Semitic texts.

Quentin: How are things with you guys?
Eliot, sighing: Glad you asked. We’re at war. Also Fillory is seriously, dangerously, stone-cold broke.
Quentin: Wait, how is that even possible? The nugget beetles of the outer islands, they literally s-t precious stones.
Margo: Gone extinct, apparently. Embe s-ting in the power grid really screwed us in a cornucopia of ways.
Eliot: And before you ask, yes. Every alchemist in history is a lying, cheating illusionist. They turn lead into gold and it turns right back in a day. So, we … are boned.
Quentin: How would you guys feel about robbing a bank?

Eliot, toasting: To our little thievery corporation.
Margo: P.S. we still hate you, but it’s the 21st century. It shouldn’t be this hard for a girl to get an evil demigod abortion.
Eliot: And we’re emotionally advanced. We can hold resentment and sympathy for a person at the same time.
Margo: And Fillory’s broke, we need gold, so … lucky you.
Julia: Thank you.

Penny, after he got trapped in the bank vault: Ugh, f-king Physical Kids.
Eliot: Cutting it a little close, don’t you think? So where’s the booty?
Quentin: Eliot, who are you talking to?
Penny: They can’t see me, I’m not technically here. I’m incepting your ass. Your head. Your dreams! You’re still asleep in Fillory, remember?
Eliot: That is overly complicated.

What did you think of this week’s The Magicians? Tweet me at @SydneyBucksbaum!

Images: Syfy

The Magicians airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Syfy.

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