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The Dark Secret Behind STAR WARS’ Ewoks

The galaxy far, far away is full of terrifying, awful creatures, from the Sando Aqua Monster who lurks under the waves of Naboo to the Space Slug that almost ate the Millennium Falcon in The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi‘s Sarlacc and Rancor. But they are all downright precious compared to the most vicious, most vile, most dastardly monsters in all of Star Wars, the Ewoks. Under their sweet, teddy-bear exterior lies a horrible truth–they are dangerous, man-eating psychopaths.

In this Nerdist News Edition, Dan Casey pulls the fur off of those some seemingly adorable creatures who have been given a pass for way too long. Fans like to think of those cuddly denizens of Endor’s forest moon as unlikely but vital allies of the Rebel’s cause against the Empire; sweet little beings who can help us save the day and then party into the night. But if you were to turn your back on them for even a moment they’d eat you and everyone you love.

Where did all of those Stormtroopers go? They went into Ewok bellies like so many other humans had previously, that’s where. That’s why some fans have been sounding the alarm about these clever, zombie-like creatures for years.

Because “Yub Nub” is not just a song: it’s a dinner bell.

Where do you think Ewoks rank among the galaxy far, far away’s most horrifying monsters? Would you ever visit the forest moon of Endor? Tell us in the comments section below how scared of them you are.

Featured Image: Lucasfilm

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