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Suddenly, CES Seems More… Interesting

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’ll be covering the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas next week for, and that means I’ve been getting an avalanche of press releases for the past couple of months. This one, however, was unexpected:

The makers of Trojan Brand Condoms and Vibrations will use the world’s biggest innovation stage to unveil a suite of new products in sexual health — from a multi-tip personal massager to the new thinnest latex condom in brand history.

Now, that, I did not expect.

Yes, Trojan, THE Trojan, will be exhibiting at CES. Granted, they have a line of vibrators, but, still, you don’t think of Trojan in the same category as practically anything at CES, unless, that is, you set your cell phone on “vibrate” for reasons other than a desire not to disturb others. I know there’s a section of CES for “digital health” products, but that sounds more like diabetes monitors and electronic thermometers. Vibrators and “condom innovations”?

For the first time ever at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES), they will provide an inside look at what goes into their personal technology product innovations and how they plan to revolutionize the pleasure industry.

Did you hear that? They’re revolutionizing the pleasure industry! Wait, there’s a pleasure industry? I’m aware of the porn industry — the Valley’s not far up the road — but I was unaware that pleasure is an industry now. I would like to explore vocational opportunities in the pleasure industry, myself. (I’d have to do WHAT?!? Okay, never mind)

“Innovation in this category is critical,” said (chief scientist and condom developer Dr. Michael) Harrison. “At the show you’ll see ultra thin TV’s, tiny solid state hard drives and thousands of other innovations designed to improve the consumer experience. It’s a show dedicated to inventiveness, and that’s exactly why we’re here. We’ll be announcing a collection of new products in early January that we believe are every bit as innovative as some of the bigger consumer electronics announcements, and certainly as important.”

I’ll say. What’s more important, 3D TV, new streaming options for your car, new tablets, or the latest in condom technology? Besides, you’re more likely to actually encounter one of those “innovative” condoms than most of the tablets they’ll be showing off at this convention.  Will any of the condoms have tiny solid state hard drives?

So now I guess I have another booth to check out. And, no, I neither know nor wish to inquire about their review unit policies.

Image: Trojan

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  1. Cal Damage says:

    I was going to mention the Adult Expo that’s always coincident with the CES. Maybe these devices will help some of the CES victims get past their perennial prepubescence. And with the condoms, thankfully, there will be neither STDs nor offspring from these learning experiences…

  2. Christian says:

    Whoa wait, they’re not posting this at the Adult Entertainment Expo that usually goes at the same time with CES?

  3. Isa says:

    I don’t even find this funny. WTF. Does sex has to be part of every facet of our lives? How about a little mind stimulation? How ’bout it, fellow Americans? Can we get past puberty?