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Special Report: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Teaser

Because we can’t have nice things, and piracy is alive and stupid, DC and Warner Bros. have had to speed up the release of their first real teaser (that 22 second thing the other day didn’t count) for Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice due to it being filmed in a theater from a foreign country, complete with Spanish subtitles. It was supposed to come out Monday, but since the internet is full of piranha who can’t let things come to them where they’re meant to, we get to have it today. Did everybody go looking for Christmas presents in their parents’ closet a week before Santa was supposed to come?

Anyway, the teaser is here and it’s just as deliciously dark and brooding as something starring the Dark Knight could be. It begins with a series of voice overs talking about the moral and ethical, and even global, implications of Superman (Henry Cavill) being the “savior” of the Earth, accompanied by shots of him being fawned at by people and lifting cars. Throughout, the camera has been pushing ever closer to a large statue and eventually we come around to see the words “False God” sprayed on it in red paint.

We then shift focus to Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) as he looks at his Batsuit while Alfred (Jeremy Irons)’s voice talks about fear, rage, and powerlessness that turns good men cruel. We then see some very brief but oh-so awesome shots of Batman far away, a plane firing at the Batmobile, Batman walking around a thing with fire in the background, and finally the shots we saw from the Comic-Con teaser way, way back of Batman in his battle armor looking up as Superman flies down. He says the words, in a rather robotic manner, “Tell me, do you bleed? You will.”

Jeepers, and if I may, creepers, everybody. That is some heavy effing ess. I’m very impressed by the shots of Affleck both in and out of the Batsuit. I’m not as down on ol’ Ben as some people are in general, but you don’t really know how a person will be as such an iconic character until you see it. The shot of him walking in the regular Batsuit has me convinced. Who knows how the movie will actually be when it comes out next year, but everything certainly LOOKS like Frank Miller’s version of things.

Oh, and by the way: this line? “We know better now, don’t we? Devils don’t come from hell beneath us. No, they come from the sky.” …That’s totally Jesse Eisenberg’s voice, right? And who’s Holly Hunter playing? And why is the Riddler’s question mark on that column?!

2015-04-17 Batman V Superman - Riddler Graffiti

What do you think of all this Bat-Super stuff? Does it live up to your excitement? (I mean, I wouldn’t have minded if they took a completely different path than the Nolany angst, but for what it is, it looks okay so far.) Let us know in the comments below!

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