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Are Wild Sex Robots Coming to Kill Us? Maybe

Are Wild Sex Robots Coming to Kill Us? Maybe

Never have sex with a robot. Futurama, Rick and Morty, Blade Runner, Austin Powers, Westworld, all of them have warned us about the dire consequences of fornicating with a machine. And now it looks like the lessons of science fiction could soon prove prescient, because cybersecurity scientists are warning that hackers could turn your sex machine into a murderbot.

A story in the NY Post says that cybersecurity experts believe it could be easy for hackers to gain “full control of the connections, arms, legs and other attached tools like knives or welding devices” on your sex robot. That’s not great news for sex robot enthusiasts, especially those who prefer their mechanical sexy time to involve knives or welding devices.

So since this isn’t about artificial intelligence run amok, is this really something to worry about? Apparently so, because they say it would be easier than hacking a phone or computer, and sex robots use the same type of operating system as them. (We are learning way more about sex robots than we ever wanted to.)

If a robot is connected to the internet, that means it can be hacked. And if it can be hacked, that means someone can use it to hack you to bits. That’s right, love hurts, but sex with a robot could kill you.

So what can you do to avoid being killed by a sex robot?

  1. Never buy a sex robot in the first place.
  2. If you ignore rule one, never connect it to the internet.
  3. Never speak of yours to anyone. Ever.

Because, one way or another, the robots are coming for us all.

Images: HBO, New Line Cinema

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