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Episode 96: Sex Nerd Sandra
OkCupid Casanova

Sex Nerd Sandra #96: OkCupid Casanova

ONLINE DATING FOR WEIRDOS! (and everyone else) Outlier Jason Porath breaks down his secrets to online dating success. TOPICS: “Rantallion,” Gender Divide, What You Want, Dynamic Profiles, LOL Failings, Personal Branding, Knowing Themselves, Saving Everyone’s Time, Dating Site Choices, Game of Thrones, OkC Science, Finding Your Hook, Breadth & Depth, Getting Specific, Answering Profile Questions, Red Flag Answers, Message Box Dissection, Brevity, Common Mistakes, and MAJOR NERD ALERTS!


Jason Porath is a comic and computer graphics artist. He writes, draws, blogs, and goes on a lot of adventures with our intrepid hostess Sandra. He’s a pretty rad dude. He can be found on the web at, or on Twitter at @jasonporath.


Hang out with Sex Nerd Sandra on Twitter and Facebook. It will be the fun times.

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  1. Nathan says:

    Would it be possible to get a post listing the tips in this episode?

  2. Peter says:

    So… can we get a copy of his list for LA? 😀

  3. Ian says:

    I like what they are not mentioning at all in this discussion. She asks questions like ‘Why didn’t you respond to this %97 match.’

    Profiles are nice, but for both men AND women, it’s %90 about the pictures. He never says it, but how much you want to bet he didn’t write back the %97-er because he thought she was ugly?

    The OkCupid blog (which I was bummed they stopped) goes into detail on who gets messages and it’s all about the pictures, and women in particularly are super-picky on men’s pictures and will draw huge conclusions from seemingly normal pics.

  4. derp says:

    Wow that was derpy. Ummmm, I meant to say, I’ve online dated, and the best resource I had for while building my okc profile was…friends! If you know persons of the gender/orientation you’re trying to attract and you think they’ll give you an honest critique, have them look over your profile. They can tell you if you sound cray. Or boring.

    Also, you have to go into it expecting to mess up, say dumb things, and learn from them. And that doing that is all part of the fun.

  5. derp says:

    Loved this podcast! I’ve online dated

  6. Alex says:

    Very interesting episode. Hearing more about this kind of makes me tempted to try online dating things more seriously than I had in the past. There are a couple things I find myself wondering about dating profiles:

    I wonder if it ever makes sense to mention one’s own inexperience with dating. On one hand it seems like something that risks sounding “whiny” even if not meant in that way. On the other hand there is some fear that not being up-front about things may cause some incorrect assumptions to be made.

    The other thing I find myself wondering about online dating profiles, is how one should/shouldn’t portray one’s hobbies when they fall drastically outside the norm. For example, if electronics design is a hobby that is a huge part of one’s life. If a sport was a huge part of one’s life you would probably mention it, but when it’s something that most people don’t have an accurate notion it may not be so helpful. One could simply not mention hobbies that fall so far outside the norm, but when it really is a huge part of one’s life, I feel like that may also be leaving things too incomplete. In the podcast it’s mentioned that occupations are often not a good choice to mention because they may not mean much to other people, but sometimes hobbies that one is extremely passionate about can have the same issue.

    Oh by the way Sandra, the phrase “Computer Engineer” you mention is a thing yes. That’s what’s on my degree 😛

  7. Scully says:

    It seems that writing a dating profile is a lot like a resume…have specifics and be prepared to tell a story about everything you have included. I know there are lots of services out there to help people learn how to write a good resume but I wonder if the same thing exists for dating sites. This episode did a good job touching on what makes a good profile but I bet there are lots of people who could benefit from having a third party look at their profile and say what works in their favor and what doesn’t. I guess this could lead to people unfairly representing themselves but I feel it is more likely that most just aren’t sure how to translate their real life attributes into a digital environment.

  8. Thanks for the tech feedback. Those 2 episodes were recorded away from the studio with fancy handheld podcast technology. I’m pretty sure I recorded in Mono, so I’ll keep my mic distance in mind as that should help a ton.

  9. boB says:

    This was a great podcast, and very enlightening, especially for those of us who have had questionable luck with online dating.

    But, did anyone else have issues with the sound levels on the last two podcasts? It seems to get too quiet in spots, as if the people are moving too far away from the microphone or something. (Or is it possible that it’s being recorded in stereo, and the sound is migrating back and forth between the right and left channels? I listen at work, and I can only have one earbud in at a time.) I’ve never noticed this with any of the previous podcasts.