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Paramount Determined To Out-Gay 1984’s "Footloose" With Zac Efron


Distant-future-VH1-star Zac Efron will star in the unnecessary remake of the 1984 film Footloose, a movie about gay tolerance on a Hollywood backlot. Add this to the list of remakes that don’t need to happen with Bill & Ted, Short Circuit and a musical version of The Accused. When posed with the question, “Why not focus on film ideas that no one has ever thought of before?” an anonymous studio executive cocked his head to the side in a genuine attempt at comprehension shortly before banging his face against a wall out of rage and confusion like a 28 Days Later chimp.

None of the original cast of Footloose will appear in the new version, putting it achingly out of reach for “6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon” fans to efficiently connect to Vanessa Hudgens.

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  1. Ian Gallardo says:

    Who the fuck do YOU think YOU are making fun of other people?

  2. Rubson says:

    Oii gostei muito da foto mi add no orkut

  3. lissa says:

    you it si pd you i love you

  4. linsa says:

    salopare et tu gai pd pourquoi couhe tu avec vanessa bientot elle le saura pd je t aime mais tu et gai.

  5. yannick says:

    si il ai gay kil mapele o 06 23 8989 72 je le suserai sil vien avek plez miame le mek jaime

  6. LOUISE says:


  7. I banged my eyes against a bed of nails laffing @ th1s po$t.

  8. Randall_Graves says:

    Everyone missed the fact that Hardwick actually had to look at gay porn to find the right picture. Subsequently, he had to continue to look at the gay porn while he edited it. I’m not saying Hardwick’s gay, but it doesn’t help that his dad was a professional at manipulating balls. JK 😛

  9. Cass says:

    I am desperately trying to come up with something gayer than Footloose…probably liking Footloose is gayer…..Richard Simmons < Footloose

  10. Senor Shutter says:

    Someone please, PLEASE, tell me how to UN-SEE that image!!!
    Scrubbed corneas with Brillo pads, but can STILL SEE IT!!!
    PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (Thanks in advance for the nightmares Chris.)

  11. The Nerdist says:

    Rob: Thanks! I actually started photoshopping in Starbucks and became very self-conscious about being in public after googling “Zac Efron” and then “gay Asian” to get the elements.

    Sally: Of course it counts!

  12. Sally says:

    Dang. A musical version of The Accused is the only one of those I’d be at all interested in seeing.

    Vanessa Hudgens was in Thirteen with Holly Hunter.
    Holly Hunter was in Home For The Holidays with David Strathairn.
    David Strathairn was in The River Wild with Kevin Bacon.
    I win!
    P.S. I had to look up Vanessa Hudgens. Does it still count?

  13. Rob says:

    You went to some pretty great photoshopping lengths for this post, Hardwick. Thanks!

    (I think.)

  14. Becky says:

    The idea of a Bill & Ted remake makes my heart hurt.

  15. Santi says:

    I bet the Zac and Vanessa thing is just a cover up, and in a couple of years Zac will finally come out of the closet saying he actually goes out with that other kid with the jewfro instead of an actual afro.

  16. lana012 says:

    Why are they making all these remakes. It is so stupid. They just want to waste money on old movie remakes than original movies.

  17. Stephen42 says:

    better idea for idea monkeys, give them a reality tv show and keep them away from classic 80’s gayness