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Episode 71: Nerdist Podcast
Nerdist PodcastNerdist Podcast

Nerdist Podcast #71: BRAD MELTZER

Brad Meltzer is a literary ninja. He has written several books & comics (Buffy, Justice League, Green Arrow) and hosts “Decoded” on the History Channel. This is a great episode to listen to if you have any interest in pursuing the path of the writer.

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  1. Paul says:

    Brad meltzers show has got to be the worst conspiracy show I’ve ever seen , his team reveal absolutely nothing and when he’s speaking why can’t he look at the screen or at least move the prompter so it at least looks like he’s looking at us and I wish he would put his hands by his side instead of waving them about defensively in front like he’s telling lies or not quite sure he knows what he’s waffling on about yes I hate his show.

  2. Josh says:

    Aisha Tyler seems like a lifetime ago. No longer am I worried that anyone might have thought my comment about how dark it was, was some kind of racial thing, it was a, hey who turned out the lights thing, for you see I can’t even conceive of ever having been corporeal. I encountered a space time vortex at episode 80, and ever since then have only conceived of one thing, and one thing only… the singularity. And Eddie Van Halen. Two things. Two things I meant to say. Ever since entering the singularity at episode 80 I can only conceive of two things: the singularity, and Eddie Van Halen… and super ripe avocados. Okay THREE things–

    bing! Next episode, episode 17.

  3. Jeff says:

    i got the “i’m sorry” ticket advice from my grandpa and its true

  4. Chris says:

    Just listened to the Meltzer episode and it might be my favorite, right up there with the Donald Glover episode (my wife still reminds me of how I forced her to listen to his rap at the end of that one, “We are on our HONEYMOON and you are listening to what…fine…”). I really appreciated his insight about being genuine and connecting with an audience.

    Not to jump off track, but I caught Chris’s late Saturday show in Chicago (@chrishardwick – I’m sure you don’t remember meeting me, but here you go – I was in from Houston and I was sandwiched in next to that chick who was drunkenly vocal about the death of Patrick Swayze. Strong.) I remember thinking during the set that the prepared material (Redneck Tech Etc.) didn’t seem as funny as when Chris just vamped and riffed off the crowd. To Meltzer’s point, I think it really got going when it was less prep, and more Hardwick. What do I know though.

    Great podcast. So angry I’m in Houston and will miss the Black Dynamite extravaganza. +5 to Noodle Stories.

  5. Thom says:

    anyone know the song in the intro? not the nerdist theme but the one in chris’s description. sorry if its already up somewhere. . .

  6. Marcos says:

    When was this ep recorded? Sounded like it was a few months ago?

  7. Angie says:

    LOVED Deadwood…mad it ended too soon. Also loved Rome & Buffy….

  8. Richard Davis says:

    Wow, what a fun episode…, thanks Chris…, I felt like I was with my nerdy friends the whole time. I know of Brad a bit but have yet to hear him out side of his show…, really fun and good time. Thanks.

  9. Wade says:

    You know, I think the 2nd Matrix movie gets a bad rap. Not as clasic as the first, but in no way does it deserve to be considered as sucky as the 3rd. I thought the 2nd movie did a good job raising the stakes, expanding the Matrix universe, and adding to the mythology/philosophy of the 1st. And the set action pieces were massively cool… Neo vs. Multiple Smiths, Neo in the hall of weaponry, Trinity & Morpheus fighting agents on the freeway… and the ending of the movie was a logical extension.

    But the third flick just chucked it all in favor of the garbage zion stuff. Crap movie. I think the 2nd one just gets maligned because it’s always lumped in with the last movie.

  10. CJWellman says:

    As much as I absolutely love the interviews with comedians, I love that you have authors on as well. I’ve not read anything by Melzer but I’m heading straight to Amazon to purchase some of his work. A very delightful interview that felt like you knew each other forever! MAd interviewing skills, Chris! And what was that? What didn’t I hear in this episode? That’s right, Jonah complaining about growing up in Hawai’i. 😛

  11. Jet says:

    Listening to this episode now. Chris and Meltzer sound far away, and Matt Mira sounds real close, one-liners and coughing in my ear. It’s like a 3D first person podcast, and today I’m Matt.

    Not complaining.

  12. Duncan says:

    Floored by the “he flipped a coin, it came up Stanford, and it was a scandal” bit. What kind of crack was in the water at Meltzer’s high school?

  13. Roberto says:

    Meltzer you were the one who got me into JLA and i left when Duffi f*cked it up

  14. Adam Murray says:

    P.S. Please come back to Helium this summer. You were awesome last time you came through (especially mocking the dueling mobs of drunk bachelorette parties that were there), and I’d be honored if you would bless my 20 sided dice as well.

  15. Adam Murray says:

    Amazing episode! Also, I’m not sure if this is the right place to leave a question, but I’m an animator/student from Philadelphia who has been working freelance in NYC as well and I’m thinking of moving out to California (Burbank Area) after graduation, and was curious about the overlap between the animation and comedy worlds out there. Chris with your work on ‘Barnyard’ and recently with Myke Chilian, and Jonah on ‘Supernews’ I was just wondering if you had any direct interaction with the animators while on those projects?

    -Adam Murray

  16. Brian E. says:

    Fantastic episode. Love Brad Meltzer and loved this epsiode. Hilarious that he remembered what he was going to say when he did.

  17. Lloyd Christmas says:

    This super-nerdy nerd out-nerded the nerdiest nerd of all the nerds. Excellent free content.

  18. solidcurrency says:

    Great interview! Brad Meltzer’s voice sounds exactly like a coworker of mine. It’s freaky.

  19. Trevor says:

    Brad Meltzer? You Betzer!

    Watching Slinky Dog being voiced by somebody not dead didn’t bother but I couldn’t stop thinking why Bo Peep wasn’t in the movie. Annie Potts is still alive! Wha happened?

  20. Patrick says:

    Al Swearengen is my idol, cocksucker.

  21. FlyingDutchOven says:

    I was waiting for the inevitable turn where The History Channel becomes The Hitler Channel.

    Just as with the Caine-Hackman Theory (No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV), there is always a program on History about Hitler at any given time.

    Oh, and Ancient Aliens — Jesus didn’t turn water into wine, the aliens gave him Tang. And what’s going on with Giorgio Tsoukalos’ hair?

  22. matt mc says:

    Thank you for mentioning Dead Wood. Nerds should know it.

    I was so disappointed that the series ended.

    To this day, I still only see Ian McShane as Al Swearengen.

  23. Cargile says:

    Just a note for your “things you can’t find on ebay” bit. I continue to look with no luck to find an Agrocrag trophy. Not sure if that’s the right spelling, but the trophy from the wonderful game show known as GUTS. Just to have it to put it up for anything. Playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3, play me for my Agrocrag. That sort of thing. So If that could be found, it would be much appreciated.

  24. Jim says:

    Wow, hyperlinks in the comments not particularly noticeable, and so the previous comment looks like I’m just telling you about something I did for no good reason.

    That phrase “the scavenger hunt that made the New York Times” is a link to the story in the New York Times.

  25. Shane says:

    Awesome episode even better when you mentioned Lexi Belle, the love of my life.

  26. Nola says:

    Since you’ve mentioned it twice re Nic Cage and his New Orleans houses. The Garden District is not a couple of blocks from the Quarter — the Lower Garden District (the eastern part) is 2 miles from the Quarter, while the Garden District ranges from 2-4 miles. So, a lot of rich people have places in the Garden District and in the Quarter so they can enjoy their Quarter debauchery on the weekends.

    Plus, Nic Cage’s French Quarter house (which has since been sold at tax sale) is a famous house here — the LaLaurie Mansion, which is known as the most haunted place in New Orleans. Madame LaLaurie did horrible medical experiments on her slaves, and the place supposedly has been haunted ever since. (As a side note, it was illegal to torture/beat/mistreat slaves in Louisiana at the time, but the LaLauries were extraordinarily wealthy so they bought off the judges). So, I imagine Cage bought it for its kitsch factor.

  27. Deadwood, cocksucker!

  28. Magnoliafan says:

    I can’t stand the History Channel, Decoded is probably the only thing that is remotely watchable.

  29. Dane says:

    Just discovered the nerdist podcast about a month ago and it is STONKING AWESOME. I can honestly say I’ve listened to every single episode to date now ( Anywho. On to my real question…comment…quement…whatever the fuck you’d like to call it (given you actually read this). My understanding is you were a former Memphian. Now I will be the first to admit, there is currently no comedy to be found in this g0d-forsaken city. It is my intention to remedy that. My question is why the fuck is it supposedly so hard to do comedy down here? Other than all the humorless hipsters and overly sensitive drunks, what was the biggest hurdle for you as a comedian down here? Or was your comedy career a post-Memphis endeavor? I’ve all intentions to fill the humorless void, just curious if i’m walking into a beer-soaked deathtrap.

    By the way, HUGE fan of the Hostful episodes.

  30. Brendan says:

    I can’t believe Matt has SklarDar!

  31. Kaylie says:

    I was born the year Buffy was born and grew up watching the show and now can quote it (with citations). And I happen to be a fan of twilight. Still there’s now way the movie will be good without Joss.

  32. Greg says:

    Cripes, I actually got pulled over Monday for running a stop sign. Completely my fault, I absolutely just spaced out while driving. Bigfoot could have ran out in front of my truck and I wouldn’t have noticed. But Brad is right. Just say you’re sorry. I did and I think wasn’t expecting it all. It took him a whole beat to respond when the first thing out of my mouth was, “I’m sorry.”

    I dislike cops just as much as anybody, but I know they caught me red handed, so my only option was to play nice. I was leaving school, so the cop probably thought I was gonna be some dickhead college kid who is going to say anything to get out of a ticket.

    Being nice actually works. But by all means, if you know you have done nothing wrong, and the cop is a huge dick, be an asshole. Just don’t get tazed.

  33. catherine says:

    Deadwood Rocks!!Chris I’ve followed you and been a fan of yours but today I know you are the real deal.

  34. Lucas says:

    Just ordered Brad Meltzer’s book from amazon all the way from Brazil, shipping seems worth it. Great podcast; along with Scott Sigler I am starting to wonder if all authors are funny people.

  35. Susan Lorenz says:

    great podcast! and yes, brad is right. saying “i’m sorry” to a police officer when stopped for a traffic violation will get you out of almost every ticket 🙂

  36. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Meltzer is my all time favorite author. this is an awesomely, awesome episode that really was fantastic to listen to. I just want to buy you each Root Beers and BBQ Cheddar Cheetos, and gab about nerdelicious geekness. It’s great to hear a show that promotes and balances such positive opinions about everything. Keep up the amazing work Mr’s Hardwick, Mira, and Ray!

  37. Wesley Marshall says:

    Dude this episode was so great. Very informative. I love when you guys just get into like the mechanics of how we think and perceive things. And like Matt I love the history shows. Mostly because my parents would always watch them so I just became interested. So they were watching Brad Meltzer’s show Decoded, and we watched like three episodes. By the third one my dad and I were saying I bet the Free Masons did it. Also, that is how I will introduce my kids to Star Wars the good ones first wait a few month to show the next one. Then the not so good ones so I can go that sucked right? So excited for all your success Chris. And Brad is right I see your shows because I really relate to you and I do love the nerdy references but that’s a bonus. Can’t wait to get my book in November, can’t wait for Matt to run Meltdown open mic and become a crazy good stand up, can’t wait for Web Soup to start, can’t wait for the tweet up on April 3rd for Super, and finally more episodes of the podcast. Keep up the amazing work. P.S. when you record a hour special can’t wait for that! That is all.

  38. Laura G says:

    I just got my first ticket in six years on sunday, and I apologized. Still got the ticket, although he did lower how fast I wa going so I won’t have to pay a shit-ton extra. Guess that’s something.

  39. @Lamenstein says:

    just had to applaude the GUTS reference. I shed a tear every time my daughter watches Spongebob. Wish I could show her the real Nick circa 86-99. Remember when slime had LUMPS?? As in ‘You Cant Do That on Television’?

  40. Artie says:

    I’ll tell you what you can’t buy on eBay (because I’ve been trying for years): a piece of the Aggro Crag.

  41. Shannon says:

    Nicolas Cage….. Ugh…..
    You guys touched onto ALL of the points that annoy me about him…
    But otherwise it was a fantastic podcast, Love Meltzer and his writing experiences and advice. Enjoy your burrito with extra special sauce, 🙂

  42. @Lamenstein says:

    I have ALWAYS been honest with the cop and apologetic and I have NEVER received a ticket! Worked 6 times so far in all different towns

  43. icarus breathes says:



    Hey Chris, fix your old eps I wanna hear Bill Maher and the other 30 supahstars you got lined up back thurr. Plz?

  44. Artie says:

    As a Freemason, I’m expecting this to be the most unintentionally-funniest Nerdist ever.

  45. Lee says:

    Meltzer? I just met her.

    I hate myself.

  46. Paul Z. says:

    This is awesome, one My favorite writers and My favorite podcast clashing into what will hopefully be My favorite episode ever!