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Kylo Ren’s Review of ROGUE ONE Might Be the Only One That Matters

The sound-editing geniuses at Auralnauts have done it again, taking advantage of a villain who wears a mask in the best way.

We’ve seen and heard their pitch-perfect Kylo Ren impersonation redub scenes from The Force Awakens, and react to the Rogue One trailer. But now he’s seen the new Star Wars story in its entirety, and needless to say, he has opinions. Lots of them. And they’re not all what you’d think.

He admits he doesn’t completely hate Jyn Erso. He finds Cassian Andor “BORRRRRING!” And Chirrut Imwe, whom he derisively referred to as “Magic Stick Man,” turns out to be a surprising favorite, though Kylo thinks less of Imwe’s partner Baze Malbus, calling him “Admiral Aim-Bot.” We think he’s just jealous that stormtroopers will never be able to shoot that straight.

Naturally, he’s full of praise for every scene involving Darth Vader, including that one near the end. And he’s relieved to learn that in some cases, what previously seemed like dumb luck for the Rebels has turned out to be actual sabotage, proving his conspiracy theories. In fitting “Emo Kylo” mode, he even compares his own angst to his grandfather’s literal burned, amputated body. Robot Chicken and similar shows will undoubtedly have their fun with the former Ben Solo in the years to come, but Auralnauts have crafted a pretty definitive satirical portrayal that’s going to be hard to match, and even feels of a piece with Matt, the Starkiller Base technician.

And just like us, he’s mad that that Jyn versus TIE fighter scene from the trailer isn’t in the final film. Possibly for different reasons, though!

Do you agree with Kylo Ren, or is he just being an angsty jerk again? Watch his review and let us know!

Image: Lucasfilm/Auralnauts


But could Kylo lift Mjolnir using the Force? Yes, we went there.

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