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Jeff Goldblum Gives the Internet Some Vital Answers

Jeff Goldblum Gives the Internet Some Vital Answers

You might think, at this point in time, that we’re at peak Jeff Goldblum, and that the actor has no secrets any more. He has discussed the origin of his “Goldblumisms.” He has read thirst Tweets aloud. He has even fondled his own shirtless action figure on late-night TV. And yet, somehow, Google still has questions. And as they so often do to hilarious effect, the folks at Wired magazine have presented the Grandmaster with the most popular autocomplete questions about Goldblum, for Goldblum.

Perhaps the key takeaway is that Goldblum does not, uh, ah, stutter, at least…um, not if you ask him. What he does, in fact, is fumfer, a Yiddish word meaning “to temporize and mumble; dither; waffle.” What he does do is sing, or rather, per the question, he “songs.” And you get to hear him do it twice.

There’s some unfortunate phraseology that ruins a potentially tough, spoilery question: “Does Jeff Goldblum die in Jurassic Park 2?” Well, obviously not, but we suspect the questioners mean Jurassic World 2, which, ah, well, you know, if he, uh, dies, we’re gonna have to, em…riot! But long before that, you can see him in Isle of Dogs, which the actor did not realize was a homophone for “I love dogs” until he was well into the publicity cycle. Now you can watch him reenact the very moment that notion occurred to him.

Is this, then, true peak Goldblum? Are there more mysteries yet to be unearthed? Let us know what questions you’d, ah, ask him, in the comment space, down there.

Image: Wired

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