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Jason Statham Punches Everyone

There are awesome forces in the universe. The fury of a hurricane, the intensity of a supernova, the crush of a black hole; you don’t have to look far to see the natural world’s fierce force on display. Science, however, has recently proven that all these powers pale in comparison to the raw power of Jason Statham. By “science” we of course mean YouTube and the “scientists” in this case are the folks over at Burger Fiction. They did the work of heroes by compiling this awesome supercut of Jason Statham punching people. Be warned, looking directly into this video for too long can cause your eyes to melt out of your skull due to the rays of awesomeness that are streaming forth.

The video starts with 1998’s Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and ends with Statham punching Vin Diesel in Furious 7. It’s a like a ballet of knuckles and jaws, an opera of uppercuts and knockouts. These guys count a total of 264 punches thrown by Statham, and while that number is believable, it’s hard not to think it should be bigger. We’ll have to take the video’s word for it, but it certainly seems like they could have missed one or two. I mean, I would have guessed Statham had punched something like two thousand people at this point.

That said, Jason Statham shows no sign of slowing down, so Burger Fiction might have to up this video in a few years to keep the tally up to date. Plus, as impressive as every Statham punch ever is – and it’s pretty darn impressive – it does not include the one thing Jason Statham is best known for: kicks. He’s kicked so many people in their stupid faces! Somebody get on a Every Jason Kick Ever video; we need that in out lives. It might make the universe fold in on itself, collapsing in a vortex of pure awesomeness, but it’d be worth it.

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