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Hard ‘n Phirm: Moose Lodge


This song is what you would call a “deep cut.” It’s on our non-vinyl album “Horses and Grasses” but never gets any attention because we didn’t make a video for it, nor do we ever play it live because we don’t have the dough to lug a Baritone around the country. Unfortunate, really, because it happens to be my favorite song of ours. Musically it was inspired by the Haunted Mansion ride, courtesy of my Disneyland Annual Passport. Yeah, I’ve got one. Don’t judge me.

Much of the lyrics of the song were taken from an actual application to join the Moose Lodge which I was given after some friends of mine got married at one. They still make you certify that you’re not a Communist. I’m surprised they don’t also make you denounce the Whig Party while they’re at it.

In any case, here it is. For free. Just cuz I want to smear it on the fabric of the world.

If you like it, download and pass it on. If not, I believe you can show yourself out.

Image: Hard ‘N Phirm

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  1. Evan Newlin says:

    Hey I’m a HUGE fan of Hard n Phirm and I showed my friends this song (they loved it). We’re in a concert choir together and my director also enjoyed the song. She even expressed interest in using this as our men’s song. Is there any way we can get the sheet music to this song? Thank you!

  2. Double R says:

    Say, Chris, now that you have Matt and Jonah in the Nerdist fold, would you and Phirman ever consider teaching them the harmonies so you could perform it live?

  3. CPlain says:

    Hmmmm. This one made me dig out my copy of Horses and grasses and listen again. You should post your Jimmy Kimmel performance of American Dinosaur. That one still hurts my wee wee!

  4. alysha says:

    Okay, hilarious. I bought the album on iTunes ages ago, but I always loved this song for the very reason that it reminded me of the Haunted Mansion. No judgment, darlin’, if I were living within a 3 hour drive of Disneyland, I’d totally be rocking the annual passport. Hell, I go every year for my birthday, and you can bet I make them give me one of those HAPPY BIRTHDAY buttons.

  5. Giggleloop says:

    This came up on Shuffle on my iPod on my way home from work today! 🙂 It’s actually one of my favorite songs on H&G. Yeah, that’s right, I shortened the album name. Holy crap, I’m a geek. 🙂

  6. Deltus says:

    Love the sound of moose braying at the start. Very classy. I’m using that sound whenever I toss one into the wife from now on.

  7. Taylor says:

    Hilarious and musically skilled as always. I was so happy to see you guys have the album on iTunes as I promptly bought it

  8. Tony D says:

    haha what the hell, greatness

  9. Adam says:

    That just sold you a digital album sir!

  10. I’m SO using this during one of my pole dancing classes. I’ll send you the bill if anyone dies.

  11. Sam Swanson says:

    I will gladly sing the baritone section for very little pay just so I can tour with you guys. Drop me a line!

  12. Alex says:

    that was great, thanks Chris!

  13. SHANEDAV says:

    interesting choice of sing…………..MOOSE LODGE ROCKS