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GHOSTBUSTERS Written In Shakespearean Prose Is Absolutely Hilarious

GHOSTBUSTERS Written In Shakespearean Prose Is Absolutely Hilarious

Across recorded history, humanity has been blessed with some truly fantastic artistic works, such as the paintings of Michelangelo, the writing of William Shakespeare, and Ghostbusters. Does Ghostbusters belong in that list? Perhaps not, but it’s one step closer to fitting in with the esteemed writings of historical note: Author Jordan Monsell recently released Ministers of Grace: The Unauthorized Shakespearean Parody of Ghostbusters, and as you’d expect, it turns Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis’ original script into the Shakespearean epic we didn’t realize we wanted until just now (via io9).

Although it’s unofficial, Aykroyd himself approves of the parody, and even provided a quote for the book: “Jordan Monsell has trance channeled the Bard in genuine, scholarly and hilarious to celebrate the Ghostbusters in a whole new, old way.”

Iambic pentameter and other writing styles of the period certainly are hilarious when applied to Ghostbusters; check out this brief excerpt from the book, from when the Ghostbusters go out to their first call:

INNKEEPER

I humbly thank thee gentles for thy speed. Our guests grow anxious by the hour and start To question me for reasons have I none.

RAY

Hath it appeared ere now?

INNKEEPER

The eldest servants know of higher floor The strange impatience, I do mean to say Though stirred it not these past five moons till late. And ne’re did carry on as violently.

EGON

Did’st thou make report to any soul?

INNKEEPER

Nay! Good heavens! We do not speak of it. I wish it were removed before the dawn.

RAY

Verily. Now peace good sir. Custom hath made it in we a property of easiness.

Exit INNKEEPER

MAN AT STAIRS

What be you, a Muscovite?

PETER

Nay, we be extirpators. A rat a man did see on floors above and called upon us.

MAN

An unholy size this rat must be.

PETER

‘Twould take this from this, sirrah.

RAY

Wilt thou follow?

MAN

I’d rather keep my head to chew and swallow.

RAY

It hath occurred to me of late that a successful trial of our weapons have we not.

EGON

I do accuse myself.

PETER

As do I.

RAY

The fault, dear Egon, is not in our stars but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

PETER

Wherefore be troubled? For upon our backs have we unlicensed boxes of rough magic.

RAY

Agreed. Are we content?

EGON charges RAY’s pack, then backs away.

If that tickles your fancy, the book is available on Amazon. Do you think you’ll grab, or is Shakespeare, even hilarious Shakespeare, just not your thing? Let us know in the comments!

Featured image: Shadowcut Press

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