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Friday Night Fights! Stephen Colbert and Paul F. Tompkins Battle it Out

Animatronic Chuck E. Cheese band vs. the Knights of Medieval Times!

Stephen Colbert vs. Paul F. Tompkins!

It can only mean one thing: Friday Night Fights!

The newest edition of The Late Show‘s segment pitted Paul F. Tompkins, arguing on behalf of the metal musicians, against Colbert, who argued for the struggling actors who make up the performers at Medieval Times.

CECB
“Okay, you want to stick a metal weapon into an opponent coursing with electricity. Why don’t you stay home and joust your toaster with a butter knife?” Tompkins said in response to Colbert’s backing of the guys with swords.

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However, when Tompkins (who revealed the “F” in his name stands for “Fascism”) thought the “C.E.C.B.” might have mastered the art of self-repair after all these years, Colbert was having none of it. “They don’t have any learning ability; they’re not an A.I. system. They’re merely hydraulics being run by a guy named Andy, who’s an 18-year-old assistant manager.”

While Colbert and the segment guest argue the merits for each combatant, it’s up to the viewers on Twitter to actually vote and decide the champion. This one is already very close, so remember your vote does count.

The last round of Friday Night Fights saw John Hodgman throttle Colbert as both of Hodgman’s picks came out victorious, with the Tooth Fairy besting Bigfoot with 56% of the vote, and the Walmart greeter with a crossbow winning with 70% in a landslide over the Apple Genius with a switchblade.

Okay, who you got? Tell us in the comments below which restaurant’s performers you are backing in this fight.

Images: CBS

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