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Dr. Manhattan’s Wang Signs Development Deal With LOGO

Caught in a quantum field experiment gone awry, Jon Osterman gained the ability to will himself an enormous dong and lost the required shame to cover it in public. The only thing I will tell you about Watchmen before you see it this weekend is that Dr. Manhattan’s penis is so present in the film, it should have gotten its own credit.


Image: Chris Hardwick/Nerdist

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  1. BlueVeiner says:

    To kayla, the actor’s name is Billy Crudup.

    Anyway, what I wanted to say is: Dr. Manhattan really is super-human. I was impressed with his ability to take that tremendous blue-veiner to the arctic and not have it turn into an acorn.

  2. Sarah says:

    I actually thought this was going to have something to do with LOGO. And now I’m embarrassed.

  3. Destroyer says:

    What are these women talking about, saying it’s about time a man’s penis was shown in a movie? Crying Game: penis. Boogie Nights: penis. The Hangover: penis. Bad Lieutenant: penis. Strange Wilderness: penis. There has been more than enough penis for you to see in mainstream films, and for a long time. When do we get see a woman’s coochie? Never. I don’t mean some “frontal” bush in an 80’s horror’s movie — that’s nothing. I’m talking about the vagina between a woman’s legs. I don’t see how Hollywood decided it’s ok to parade all these dongs in movies, but never show any labia once. Doesn’t have to be a sexual scene, so why is it never even shown in a natural course of on-screen events or as some sort of comic relief as a lot these penis scenes are? Not once, so don’t even talk about a double standard. Then again I didn’t see the Hannah Montana movie yet.

  4. Atom says:

    It says a lot about the world we live in, when the ‘villian’ is a hero who kills million of people to save the world…and ALL people can talk about is Manhattans dick.
    Pathetic, but not too shocking.

  5. kayla says:

    who is the guy in the pic at the top? his face kinda scares me but hes got a smokin hot bod! anyone know?

  6. Deltus says:

    Here’s what funny about the big blue CGI penis: there was a CGI animator that was assigned to the penis. They might have had other CGI tasks to do, but the penis was theirs. They had to be sure they got the math right for how the penis would wobble and sway back and forth when Dr. Manhattan walked. And at some point, they were coding it, and they and the CGI supervisor were looking at a computer screen watching samples of big blue wangs swaying back and forth.

    And it was at THAT moment that the full realization hit the CGI artist of what they were doing. And they said to themselves, “Yeah, THIS is what I went to CGI school for. Fuck… I need a drink.”

    That’s funny, right there.

  7. Geekoid says:

    I know what I’m going to be for Halloween. Dr. Manhattans penis.

  8. Brooke says:

    It’s just funny that it’s always assumed the nude human body is shown for the amusement of men. If it’s nude males, then it’s “homoerotic.” If it’s females then it must be aimed at straight males.

    As a visually-stimulated bisexual woman, I find that silly. The actor/CGI portraying Dr. was not in the least bit sexy, therefore the blue cock did nothing for me. However, give Christian Bale or Johnny Depp a full frontal, and you have my attention 😉

  9. hhmm says:

    I have to agree with Crystal Lynn…I’m an art student, so I’m use to seeing the nude male, but I feel it is due time that the male form is shown in film, as long as it makes sense to show it and is not done in raunchy ways. I’m tired of the female body being shown often, and always as a sexual object. Watchmen is guilty of doing this, as we only see the female nude in sex scenes…many of them…the media distorts our perception of reality so much, I’m scared for America’s next generation (but that’s another conversation!).
    On a more positive note, the special effects were amazing!!! Best I’ve seen in years!

  10. Alan says:

    Funny, I thought it looked small.

  11. Jes says:

    Well Crystal, you have to hand it to Snyder; 300 was consistently labeled as homoerotic, and he just went one step further. It was almost like a big “eff you” to the people who’d complained about all the mostly-naked Spartans, even though Dr. Manhattan’s penis was prevalent in the novel.

    And I feel like Malin Akerman’s breasts were not that obvious in the movie; it was like he did what was necessary without being like, “LOOK, A WOMAN’S CHEST!” Every once in a while, there’d be a nipple, but other than that, it was pretty much face time for the sex scenes.

  12. Crystal Lynn says:

    I actually really like the fact that his penis was so prevalent in the film, and not just because I am female.

    I think it’s nice that we are progressing… it’s not okay to show breasts. Oh now it’s okay to show breasts but not any hint of vagina. Oh, full frontal is okay now. Penis? NO WAY. Sure, vagina and breasts are body parts, so is penis, but WE CANNOT show penis! GOD no!

    The penis is a body part. Dr. Manhattan is nude most of the time. Nude men HAVE A PENIS! It’s natural and it’s about damned time society becomes more comfortable with this concept.

  13. dani says:

    oh my god there were little 10 year old boys sitting next to me and my bf and everytime Dr. M’s never erect blue wang came up they giggled and snickered! it was annoying and hilarious.

  14. TonyWasRight says:

    Everytime Dr.Manhattan’s “blue snake” was presented, All I could hear from behind me was “OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS PENIS HAHAHAHA!!”Which shows the maturity level in the audience har har. Though they did a good job using CGI to replicate the swaying of it when he walked. Overall penis aside Watchmen was a spectacular movie. (Dontknowifthiswouldqualifyasaspoiler)Even though I think they cut a important part for people who haven’t read the novel in which they didn’t really explain the origin of Rorchachs mask which I would think people would’ve been curious about.

  15. yes it does seem to have an awefull lot of screen time and presence.

  16. skip says:

    Development deal was cancelled when it was discovered Dr. Manhattan is always arriving on set with blueballs.

  17. Giggleloop says:

    Just got back from seeing Watchmen. Even though I kind of anticipated it, I was a bit surprised at the copious amounts of big blue intrinsic field-y wang. But at least there was a generous helping of super-heroine tits to nicely juxtapose the wangness, so it evened out. I guess. 🙂

  18. MtL says:

    Hmm, that might be the straw that breaks the camel’s muhf*k’n plane! I don’t know if I just merged a cliche and a furry critter with tits on its back but…crap what am I saying? I’ll still see the movie. And good day sir.

  19. If was to re-animate myself I would give myself a generous sized wang, it was only be appropriate from what I have been living with already. It’s not that I need a tweezers to take a piss, it’s just not as generous as I might like it to be.

    I saw the movie last night at midnight and it was pretty good. I am not going to get on a soap box here and say it was the greatest movie I have ever seen, but it was a solid 8 out of 10. “The Dark Knight” was A LOT better, but this was a very good rendition of the comic book, but as Alan Moore once said, “this movie might not be filmable”. Snyder did as good a job as could be expected from this VERY complicated comic book series.

    Go out and see it, it’s pretty darn good.


  20. TonyWasRight says:

    It would figure that when you re-animate yourself, your wang would be your first priority.

  21. Today is “Watchmen-Day” for me: yesterday Start in Germany. YEAH!

  22. Chris Hardwick says:

    You know, DoomsdayC, I think you’re right. In the 70s, FFN was rampant, then cooled off. This might also signal the return of the jungle bush.

  23. mike says:

    power to the penis!

  24. I seriously believe the one eyed monster is making a cinematic comeback!

  25. nanz says:

    Dammit, I was going to go see this with my mom. I swear, whenever I am with my parents in the presence of a TV, the raunchiest crap appears somehow to embarrass me.
    But hey, thanks for the heads up.

  26. Anna says:

    I’m going tonight, despite having a paper and presentation tomorrow. Midnight showing, woohoo! I’m so responsible.

  27. the comments are creepier than the text…

  28. Mrmonkeyman says:

    Did he by an chance say that if u touch his wang you would be given temporary super powers according to how long and how well you hold and handle his wang?

  29. Adam51586 says:

    WOW Hardwick that is a big credit to fill! I so want to see this masterpiece of epic proportions!