close menu

Cursing Toys, Star Wars BBQ, and “I’d Like To Thank The Academy”: What We Learned At Nerdist This Week

The honor bestowed upon Chris by LA Weekly in this week’s issue, in which he was named as one of the magazine’s “Best of L.A. People” for 2011. was pretty impressive, and, of course, well deserved. I’m not just saying that because he’s the boss and the very definition of Nerdist, and he’ll probably want to beat me senseless for saying it, but there it is.  And it got me thinking about honors and awards and what they mean, and all the many honors I’ve personally received myself, such as:


Yeah, I’ve fallen a little short of honors, unless you count Honor Society in school, which didn’t impress a lot of people even then and was an even longer time ago than I’d like to think. Certainly, I’ve not gotten any awards as an adult, but I’m okay with that, because there aren’t any awards for the things I do, except for, like, the Pulitzers and all the Press Clubs’ awards and the Webbys and things like that, and who wants to win any of THOSE? Seriously, though, honors and awards are very nice, and while I tell myself that they don’t matter — that a full life can be led without having your picture in the paper or your name in lights — the truth is that we all want a little of that action.

Oh, yes, you do. You say you don’t care, but you do. You watch the Oscars and Emmys and Grammys and say it’s all silly and while you do that, you’re silently composing your acceptance speech. You want to stand up there on international television, gripping the hardware, making the kind of cool, funny, emotional speech you wish the actual winners would make. You say that you don’t read the supermarket celebrity magazines, but you imagine yourself smiling from the cover of Us Weekly or Hello, toast of the world. It doesn’t matter that you’re not even an actor or musician or anything that would qualify you for those awards. In your mind, you’re on stage at the Kodak Theater thanking your agent and the cast and crew.

But most of us won’t get there. That’s why it’s cool to see it when one of us does, and Chris is that person. Today, LA Weekly and Time’s list of the Top 140 Twitter people and Rolling Stone’s top comedy podcast list, tomorrow, who knows? An Oscar would be nice (Best Supporting Actor, House Of 1,000 More Corpses?). An Emmy is surely within reach. The cover of People is do-able. Me? I have a real shot at Unappreciated During His Lifetime But Posthumously Celebrated As a Genius. I have the first part nailed.

On to the week at in review, where this happened:

1. Neil Gaiman plus That Show equaled Kyle’s favorite episode of the series thus far. Consensus: Awesome.

2. We were greatly entertained by a cursing toy phone and an a capella version of the Turret opera from the end of Portal 2, which is kinda like two ends of the cultural spectrum. We’re nothing if not broad-based in our entertainment choices.

3. Matthew G. posted the new Bon Iver song “Calgary.” Bon Iver fans — Becca, I’m looking at you — were enraptured, as opposed to “in the Rapture,” which is a different story.

4. We got to hear the result of the live NerdMelt recording of the podcast with Kevin Pereira. It was recorded the day after bin Laden was killed, and we found out what Matt was doing when he got the news. The image of Matt getting the news will be seared on your brain forever.

5. Someone took an amazing 360-degree panoramic view of Wembley Stadium during the FA Cup Final, so sharp that you could zoom right in and see the faces of everyone in the stands, and tag them through Facebook. And some minor glitches made some of the fans look like mutants, which is even cooler.

6. Some of you were a little baffled by the trailer for “The Adventures of Tintin,” because you didn’t grow up with Tintin comics. Also because it’s in creepy motion-capture animation with those dead eyes. But this isn’t a Zemeckis deal, it’s Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright, and Joe Cornish. If anyone’s gonna get you to see creepy pseudo-realistic CGI characters in a dark, mysterious setting, it’s those guys.

7. One Minute Galactica gave us a Star Wars educational film with Han and Leia as “The Worst Couple in the Universe.” Can’t go wrong with 1950’s educational film soundtracks.

8. A video of flying breakfast food showed off some impressive HD visuals. And made everyone hungry.

9. Rachael showed us an R2-D2 meat smoker and let us in on a recipe for the perfect pulled pork BBQ, Carolina style. Having eaten real Carolina BBQ at the landmark Lexington Barbecue, the kind of ‘cue where you get the vinegary pulled pork in one cardboard tray and the slaw in another, I’d say the recipe seems right on target.

10. Anjeanette gave us early warning about Judgment Day. She’s suitably skeptical.

11. Sex Nerd Sandra reminded us that it’s National Masturbation Month. Give her a hand, everybody! The other hand, please.

12. The BBC’s venerable Blue Peter kid’s show held a TARDIS console design competition. The winner, a 12-year-old, saw her design used in the episode “The Doctor’s Wife.” Danny posted the story.

13. Two Austrians with damaged hands have elected to have the busted mitts amputated and replaced with a bionic hand that’s in some ways better than the real thing. We discussed what body parts we’d replace, trying mightily to avoid the groinal region.

14. While Ted found an epic wedding proposal on the big screen, I discovered that a couple is planning their dream wedding, with a Super Mario Bros. theme. It would be cool to see someone hold a Pong or Asteroids-themed wedding. Hey, Maid of Honor! Duck!

15. Chris got the “Big C” edited out of his Wikipedia entry on the Hostful Podcast. As of this moment, it’s still out. Please do not consider this a challenge to put it back in.

16. Shannon found a video of a flame-throwing tuba. If you gotta play a tuba, you want one that throws flames.

17. The “Caution: Nerdist” t-shirts are going fast. Order by Monday.

18. I got caught up in the Rapture. Or not. The odds are pretty good that even in the unlikely event that Saturday turns out to be Judgment Day, I’m not on the list, if you know what I mean. But we got some survival tips from Conan writer Rob Kutner, and some warnings about zombies, so we’re set.

19. Among the activities at NerdMelt in Hollywood this week is the Imaginary Radio Program, which is Friday night and sounds like fun except that it assumes all radio is “pretty terrible,” and as someone whose background is in radio, I object. It’s not ALL “pretty terrible.” Just some of it. No names.

And with that, it’s time for a weekend of fun and relaxation, as long as it’s not interrupted by the beginning of the End of Days. That would make enjoying your burrito a little more difficult, but enjoy it anyway. May it be a really good burrito. Award-winning, even. Do they have awards for burritos?

“I’d like to thank the refried beans….”

Todd Phillips Reveals First Look at Joaquin Phoenix in His JOKER Movie

Todd Phillips Reveals First Look at Joaquin Phoenix in His JOKER Movie

Action Figures Remixing Iconic Movie Scenes Will Blow Your Mind

Action Figures Remixing Iconic Movie Scenes Will Blow Your Mind

What Are Captain Marvel's Superpowers?

What Are Captain Marvel's Superpowers?



  1. James says:

    Again, that picture takes my breath away. I wonder if Chris has any idea how ridiculously hot he is.