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Creepy New JUPITER ASCENDING Teaser Site Warns of Impending ‘Harvest’

Creepy New JUPITER ASCENDING Teaser Site Warns of Impending ‘Harvest’

Since time immemorial, mankind has looked to the stars and wondered about what lies beyond. Are we alone out there? If there is life, is it friendly? Judging by this mysterious new teaser site, which we are fairly certain is connected to the Wachowskis’ upcoming film Jupiter Ascending, not only are we not alone, but we might be living on borrowed time. The website in question – http://www.cwastronomers.org — is the homepage of the Chicago-Wilmette Astronomers, but upon loading, readers are treated to a mysterious message written in alien runes. Suddenly, the runes begin decoding themselves in real time to reveal the words “!Warning! The Harvest Is Coming”. Now, I don’t know about you, but something tells me that this is not in reference to a crop of organic kale.

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After that message disappears, we learn that the web page was generated by a signal the astronomers intercepted from “somewhere in our solar system” and that “[they] do not know what or who is responsible for generating this transmission”, but the “dedicated team at Chicago-Wilmette Astronomers is diligently working on cracking this coded signal and will regularly update this website as more information comes online. Please stay tuned.”

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At the bottom of the page is a countdown clock that is slowly ticking away towards the beginning of this so-called “Harvest” in 56 days and change.

What happens in 56 days, you ask? That’s Jupiter Ascending‘s February 6, 2015 release date. Or maybe it’s the day that we get harvested by some sort of malevolent alien force. Either way, we hope that Channing Tatum is involved.

We’re going to keep our eyes peeled for more updates as they come in because something tells me that this isn’t the last update or warning we’ll be seeing from the Chicago-Wilmette Astronomers.

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Comments

  1. Will says:

    The alien runes look an awful lot like Cuneiform…