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Fan-Casting Ryan Reynolds’ CLUE Remake

Fan-Casting Ryan Reynolds’ CLUE Remake

We love the original Clue so much that when we heard Ryan Reynolds will star in a remake we briefly considered whether or not we should meet him in the library with a candlestick to “discuss” why that’s a terrible idea. It’s not that we aren’t huge fans of his, but rather we can’t imagine how anyone can improve on one of our all-time favorite comedies.

However, if they are really going to do this we at least want them to do it right, so rather than try to kill the project we came up with our top choices to star in it. Because you can’t do the original justice unless you have an All-Star cast worthy of the 1985 movie. That’s why we’re want big names and big talents who can match the energy and humor that made Clue a beloved classic.

Wadsworth: Ryan Reynolds (Originally played by Tim Curry)

For a movie based on a board game full of famous characters, the star of the original Clue is the entirely original character of Wadsworth, the “butler” who leads the investigation and carries the movie from scene to scene. Considering it was played by Tim Curry at his absolute apex, in a performance that is so high energy and relentless it leaves you physically exhausted to watch it, these are some very large shoes to fill. But that’s also why it should go to Reynolds. He’s charismatic, funny, and is a huge talent himself at the peak of his big screen powers, and Deadpool proved he’s capable of carrying a movie. We don’t think his Wadsworth would be exactly like Curry’s–and it would be foolish for him to try to play the part that way–but he’d be one of our top choices for the role even if he wasn’t involved already.

Professor Plum: Keegan-Michael Key (Originally played by Christopher Lloyd)

If you want an actor who has the comedic chops to match the range of Christopher Lloyd you aren’t going to do better than Keegan-Michael Key, who played just about every type of role possible on Key & Peele. The more insane the scene he is in, the funnier he gets, which is why he’s especially perfect for this remake. Imagine him as the brainy Professor Plum, trying to play it cool and under control all movie, only for him to completely lose his mind at the end while the chaos of the situation comes to a boil. There’s no one else we’d want to see running around the mansion screaming. In fact, he’s so right for this part we’re already starting to talk ourselves into this remake.

Mrs. White: Laurie Metcalf (Originally played by Madeline Kahn)

The only part harder to recast than Tim Curry’s Wadsworth is the late Madeline Kahn’s black widow Mrs. White. She was one of the funniest humans who ever lived, and because she passed away far too young, each of her movies feel sacred. So this has to go to a super-duper heavyweight, which is why we want Laurie Metcalf. There’s an excellent chance she’s going to win an Oscar this year for her performance in Lady Bird, but long before that she was the funniest character on Roseanne, which is really saying something considering that cast and show was amazing. Her Jackie was frantic and wound-up, so letting her loose in the chaos of a Clue remake could be special.

Mrs. Peacock: Catherine O’Hara (Originally played by Eileen Brennan)

Fact: every comedy should have Catherine O’Hara, but my goodness it almost feels like this entire remake was willed into existence by the universe specifically so she could play the role of the corrupt aristocratic wife of a senator. Any fan of Christopher Guest’s movies knows O’Hara can handle any role, and we know from the Home Alone series that the worst the situation the funnier she gets, so letting her slowly lose her mind over the course of a murderous night is a perfect way to let her show off all of her talent and range.

Mr. Green: Paul F. Tompkins (Originally played by Michael McKean)

Eventually a very smart person in Hollywood is going to give comedian Paul F. Tompkins the type of role his talent deserves, and we hope it’s this one. He’s not only one of the best stand-ups around, his work on Comedy Bang Bang has shown he is one of the funniest character actors working today too. It’s not going to be easy for anyone to follow a comedy legend like Michael McKean, but we want a Mr. Green that can get laughs with nothing more than a funny face, who will be able to look terrified at all times, and who can be increasingly incredulous the more insane things get. In the same way The Hangover was a breakout part for Zach Galifianakis, this could be the role for Tompkins we’ve been waiting for him to get.

Miss Scarlet: Janelle Monáe (Originally played by Lesley Ann Warren)

The beautiful Miss Scarlet needs to be someone who exudes confidence, draws the eyes of everyone in the mansion, and who absolutely should not be crossed. Anyone who saw Hidden Figures knows that is a perfect description of Janelle Monáe, who also drew the biggest laughs in the movie. She’s an immense talent, and while most know her as a dramatic actress (between Hidden Figures and Moonlight she got robbed of an Oscar nomination twice last year), we think she’d end up stealing every scene she is in. Though that’s not much of a prediction since she always does that.

Colonel Mustard: Reginald VelJohnson (Originally played by Martin Mull)

Colonel Mustard is a respected, veteran military man who finds himself surrounded by murderers, con artists, and totally absurd characters. Which is why everything in the career of Reginald VelJohnson–whose two most famous roles came as a cop in Die Hard and as Carl Winslow who was constantly under attack by Steve Urkel’s shenanigans on Family Matters–feels like it was preparing him for this role. People think Urkel was the “funny” one on that show, but VelJohnson and his ability to erupt like a volcano in the middle of the dumbest situations was the show’s real MVP.

Cameos!

Our bet is that all of the minor roles from the original–like the cook, the singing telegram girl, the cop, and Yvette–won’t be in this version. But we do think the remake will still have other parts and utilize unexpected drop-ins. So here are some performers we’d love to see stop by, hopefully to get murdered. (What? It’s Clue, they’ll want to be murdered.)

Rowan Atkinson: Mr. Bean almost played Wadsworth in the original, so not only would his style of comedy be perfect it would be a very cool touch.

Ali Wong: We would love to see the stand up pop in because she has such a strong presence and could do a lot with a little, which is why if they decide to go with a younger cast she would make for a great Mrs. Peacock. (Video NSFW.)

Weird Al Yankovic: He doesn’t even have to try and be funny to make us laugh.

Marc Evan Jackson: Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Good Place‘s master of deadpan would be a perfect addition to the inane world of Clue.

Vanessa Bayer: Nobody is better at trying to fake happiness while being horrified quite like the former SNL star.

Kumail Nanjiani: We’re already laughing picturing him standing in the mansion with a terrified look on his face.

Ken Jeong: Anyone from Community would be a great addition, but if we need someone to make as big an impact as possible in a one-scene role we want Jeong.

Andrea Savage: Even in minor roles she always makes us laugh, and we’d love to see her show up, get angry, and then have a funny death.

Jordan Peele: If Keegan-Michael Key is playing Professor Plum, we want Peele to show up and get killed by him.

Okay, thinking about how much fun this cast could be has eased our concerns about this remake enough that Ryan Reynolds doesn’t have to worry about meeting us in the study with wrench.

But what do you think? Who would you cast in the movie instead? Tell us in the comments below.

Featured Image: Lionsgate/Universal/Warner Bros.

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