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AT&T Makes Bold Effort To Suck Worse

I applaud AT&T for its continuing effort to break the suck barrier. As if poor coverage and dreadful customer service weren’t lowering the bar enough, they made a posting on their site today promising that there were ready to make good on the free-Wi-Fi-to-iPhone-customers deal they promised in April, and then quickly retracted it. This whole thing has been a mess for a while. As a T-Mobile hotspot customer, I am usually unable to use the service I pay for in Starbucks because I get kicked over to an AT&T error message after an attempted log-in. Thousands of these locations now have both T-Mobile AND AT&T (in preparation for their unfulfilled promise), and the latter is not only not free, it’s stomping all over the former like a sexed-up bonobo. And don’t get judgey about my Starbucks habit—I gots to have mah chai latte while surfing mah RSS feeds…

I wonder if AT&T knows how much everyone hates them? I wonder if their CEO wakes up everyday in his molten lava chamber and whips back the duvet of stitched souls from his sanguine body, listens for the wailing cries of customers everywhere who are given the dark gift of dropping calls while standing still, clops his cloven hooves over to a mirror on which he casts no reflection and chuckles to himself in smug satisfaction while raping a kitten.

I don’t know why I keep expecting an ass to make anything other than turds, but I’m still somehow baffled every time AT&T digs further into the failure hole. I can’t wait till they lose billions of dollars the very day the iPhone is available on other carriers…


Via [Channel Web]

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  1. Andy says:

    I guess I am the only person in the world that doesn’t mind I have AT&T…then again thats all I ever had. First when it was AT&T, and then when Cingular bought out the wireless division and then again when AT&T bought out Cingular. So I guess I have no frame of reference, but I have never had any problems with it.

  2. Cass says:

    First: To Dave who said “fuck you” Chris, you need to go to therapy to get over your fear of hippies.

    Second: Chris I have had AT&T for years and you are right. They suck and they suck hard

  3. The Nerdist says:

    B., that is a slice of awesomeness…

  4. Alan says:

    First of all, could you be more descriptive about the ATT CEO’s morning wake up experience? LOL!

    Um, well I live well into Laurel Canyon and AT&T does not penetrate deep enough into my cravass. Even if it could I would not present for it because I hate them from way back in the day with my regular land line. Also, no matter if an iphone can shoot lasers at my enemies I will not get an iphone until it is available on Sprint.

  5. Scott says:

    I for the most part agree with Chris. I’m on AT&T and haven’t had it terrible, but it’s not great by any stretch of the imagination either. And I think they have pretty sorry customer service.

  6. B. says:

    It’s actually my job to transcribe customer comments for AT&T. I listen to patrons all day and I’ve found that those who call for land line technicians or related services generally have positive things to say about the company. However, I am not exaggerating a bit when I say that I have NEVER transcribed a positive comment relating to AT&T’s cell phone service. Most people are so angry/frustrated by the time they get to me that they’ve forgotten how to speak English. So Nerdist, not only is AT&T fully aware of how much their customers hate them, but it seems as if they probably don’t give a fuck.

  7. The Nerdist says:

    Dave, I have wronged you. I didn’t realize AT&T was your girlfriend. And Minh & I only have a hand job arrangement.

  8. David Anthony says:

    Fuck you. I have AT&T at home and now get it at Starbucks. Screw you, hippy. Why don’t you go blow Ho Chi Min?