Twenty five years ago today, Jon Hammond opened the gates of his prehistoric theme park called Jurassic Park to a paleontologist, paleobotanist, chaos mathematician, his two grandkids and a very sleazy lawyer. The rest, as they say is history. So on this anniversary we decided to look back at some of the most gruesome, grotty and downright gross dinosaur deaths in the four–soon to be five–film franchise. In the immortal words of Dr. Ian Malcolm “Life finds a way” but sadly not for these unfortunate dino dinners.
Lawyer on the toilet (Jurassic Park)
Probably the most iconic of all Jurassic Park deaths, this comical yet grim end to InGen’s sleazy lawyer Donald Gennaro undoubtedly goes down in film history as one of the best deaths. After leaving Lex and Tim in the Jeep when the T-Rex breaks out of his enclosure Gennaro hides in a bathroom stall before getting chomped by the King of Lizards herself.
Clever Girl Muldoon raptor attack (Jurassic Park)
The only man in the park smart enough to know that raising raptors wasn’t a good idea, game hunter Robert Muldoon is ultimately killed by the animals he was hired to control. Helping Ellie Sattler attempt to reboot the electrical grid, Muldoon is caught in the classix Raptor trap as he slowly realizes he’s surrounded, saying the immortal words “Clever girl” before he is mauled to death by the velociraptor gang.
Dennis Nedry Dilophosaurus attack (Jurassic Park)
Probably the most bleak of all the Jurassic Park deaths, this is definitely the one that gave us nightmares as kids. As he attempts to make it to the dock in the middle of a tropical storm, with his shaving cream can full of priceless dino embryos, Nedry gets lost and is set upon by the fearsome, venom spitting dinosaur who blinds him before feasting upon the embryo thief!
Eddie Carr torn in two by T-Rex’s (Jurassic Park The Lost World)
Brutal barely covers this gnarly demise from Jurassic Park: The Lost World. When Eddie Carr, one of the eco-warriors who head to Isla Nublar is attempting a rescue mission of Ian Malcolm and Sarah Harding, he is waylaid by the park’s two Tyrannosaurus Rex’s who decide he looks like a tasty snack and share him by ripping poor Eddie in too.
Dieter Stark: Eaten by compys (Jurassic Park The Lost World)
The antagonists to The Lost World’s do-gooders, were InGen’s bounty hunters, there to collect what the evil corporation saw as their property. Luckily the lovely dinosaurs were having none of it, and during a pee break one of the soldiers Dieter Stark is set upon by the chicken-eque Compys who eat him alive, piece by tiny piece.
Enrique Cardoso: boat crash and eaten by dinosaurs (Jurassic Park III)
One of the creepiest moments in the original trilogy has to be the chilling opening of Jurassic Park III, where we see a pair of American tourists parasailing behind a speedboat on the coast of a familiar looking island. Suddenly engulfed by a thick fog the passengers lose sight of their boat and driver, before the fog breaks and the boat is revealed as empty and bloodied. Though the young parasailer survives, it’s clear his uncle is killed by dinosaurs when we see his dead body later on.
Zara Young: Swallowed by a Mosasaurus (Jurassic World)
Jurassic World is a movie thats loosely about capable women who love their jobs that get terrorized and possibly eaten by dinosaurs as a result. When Claire Dearing’s capable and smart assistant gets caught up in the mass breakout of Jurassic World, she doesn’t just get picked up and dragged away by a Pterosaur, dropped into the lagoon, then picked up again in it’s jaws. She also gets dropped into the mouth of the terrifying Mosasaurus. Nice.
Indominus Rex: Eaten by a Mosasaurus (Jurassic World)
The only non-human included in our list, the dna-spliced dino at the center of Jurassic World is a worthy inclusion after taking down the park, and just trying to live free of the cages, clinical testing and evil scientists the Indominus Rex thinks that it’s finally free, standing before the the wrecked park ready to claim victory. Alas, the Mosasaurus has other ideas, jumping up from it’s lagoon and eating the poor Indo right up. Chomp.