I can’t chastise others for eating gross food. Few are willing to sample unpleasant dishes as much as I am. Once I prepared a Buddy the Elf Syrup Spaghetti Feast. Another time I cooked up Chidi’s Existential Peeps and M&M Chili from The Good Place. That was so disgusting they wouldn’t serve it in the Bad Place. I even fed my own friends Rachel Green’s beef trifle, “for work.” But even I have my limits, specifically when it comes ice cream, which should always be genuinely good. Even I don’t want to try a Japanese company’s new mayonnaise ice cream bar, which unfortunately a very real product.
The Calorie Monster Cherio Creamy Mayonnaise Flavor ice cream bar (which we first came across at Foodbeast) comes from Japan’s Morinaga Milk Industry company. And yes, that’s the actual name for this monstrosity. This limited-edition version is part of the 35th anniversary celebration for the company’s original chocolate ice cream bar. Which means this also doubles as one of the weirdest ways to celebrate ever.
Clocking in at 307 calories, this all-white take features mayonnaise ice cream with a white chocolate center. It’s also coated with white chocolate and cookies. So while this looks fantastic, IT’S ALL A LIE. This violates the Geneva Convention.
And if it doesn’t it should.
Look, I like mayonnaise. Some of my favorite sandwiches feature it. But none of those are ice cream sandwiches. Clearly though there is a market for this, because some people really like it. Gigazine had a positive review of it when it first came to stores last September. Here’s what they had to say:
“When you eat it, the crispy feel of chocolate coaching and the crispy texture of cookies are accents. At first, you can feel the sweetness of white chocolate coaching, but as the ice melts in your mouth, the flavor of mayonnaise gradually increases. And the sourness and richness peculiar to mayonnaise is firmly felt, and the aftertaste is almost mayonnaise. However, the impression that the sourness of mayonnaise is quite mild thanks to the white chocolate sandwiched between them. Calorie Monster Chelio Creamy mayonnaise taste was bar ice that can be enjoyed as chocolate ice cream while using an unusual taste ice cream called mayonnaise.”
Nah.
Finally found it—the mayonnaise ice cream bar. pic.twitter.com/hAuLaaOzIX
— Greg de St. Maurice (@burgersandsushi) November 8, 2019
This isn’t the first time someone has made mayo ice cream. A Scottish ice cream parlor served their own version of it two years ago. And we’ve seen both ketchup and mustard get the same treatment. But those have always felt like publicity stunts Nathan Fielder came up with more than they felt like sincere attempts to make a tasty treat. This is different though. For months a large company has sold this nationwide. You only do that if people really want to eat it, which they clearly have (and can do until it leaves stores in March).
I don’t really have a fork to stand on when it comes to saying this sounds gross. All I’m saying is I wouldn’t be willing to eat it.
Probably. I mean, I have had worse.
Featured Image: Morinaga Milk Industry
