We hate to say it. But it feels like a true fact that if Pokémon existed in any kind of realistic world, eventually people would want to know what they tasted like. Unless they cleverly evolve to become very poisonous, in which case, kudos to them. But, we do have to concede that some Pokémon have literal plants attached to them, or take the forms of other edible things such as fish and ice cream. We don’t necessarily condone the thought of eating and cooking Pokémon, but we can kind of see how people arrive at the idea. And one TikTok creator took the thought of cooking and consuming Pokémon to the next level. @fab_50_ has created a series of truly visceral “How to Cook Pokémon” animated videos which are not for the faint of heart. 

Look away now if you don’t wish to see Pokémon getting sliced and diced.

We don’t know if the TikTokker will make any more videos. But for now “How to Cook Pokémon” features videos detailing how to prepare our favorite starter Pokémon, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander.

We do have to say, although there’s something absolutely twisted about watching these Pokémon get butchered, the final products do somehow look delicious. And it does raise some interesting questions about Pokémon anatomy. Is Bulbasuar’s blub technically a plant? Is it meat? Should we even ask these questions at all? It’s hard to say.

We do cringe watching these Pokémon cooking tutorial videos. And yet can’t look away. We feel ashamed but roast Bulbasaur with rice and Squirtle soup does sound… kind of good.

Bulbasaur being prepared in the How to Cook Pokemon video series

If you’re hungry for more than just starters, we’ve also taken a deep dive into which Pokémon would be the best to eat, overall. Hopefully, the most delicious of them will get their own how-to video very soon.

Now that we’ve profaned ourselves in such a way, we have to make it up to our favorite Pokémon somehow. We solemnly swear we wouldn’t actually cook Pokémon if we could. If you need us, we’ll be cleansing our eyes by gazing upon this delightful Pokémon playground.