Dungeons and Dragons and Drinking

Powered by Geek & Sundry

Gaming has been around for quite some time, and games are not just for kids anymore. Many of our tabletop roleplaying game groups are comprised  of people of the sufficient age to drink and be merry. And if we’re going to do it, let’s do it right. Let’s pick drinks that go with our Dungeons & Dragons characters for instance, putting us in the right mindset for roleplaying. Every character’s got at least one class, informing us of their way of doing things. Let’s start there.

The following are just a few recommendations from a gamer who also works in beer,wine, and spirits. This is by no mean a definitive guide to what booze must go with what class, and it’s certainly focused on alcohol that’s widely available in the US.

Barbarian

This might actually be one of the easier choices. As one of the oldest known forms of fermented drink, mead is a perfect choice for the barbarians in your group. Vikings, for instance, have magical mead in their legends. It’s a honey-based drink that comes in a wide variety (including very sweet and very dry) and you can find it in most grocery store wine sections. One import I’ve seen all around the United States is Viking Blod, which uses hops and hibiscus, and comes in a massive ceramic bottle you might enjoy as a collectible.

Bard

Bards are jack-of-all-trades and so probably shouldn’t be pigeon holed too much in terms of what the drink. I’d advise drinking whatever anyone else is drinking near you. Try a bit of everything. If you must grab something bard-centered, maybe go for a riesling wine. They taste very different depending on where their grapes are grown, mercurial wanderers, just like you.

Cleric

Well, obviously you want something to simulate dipping into the wine used in religious services. For that, wine made from concord grapes is best, so I’d just go with a kosher wine like Manischewitz (pronounced: man-ih-shev-its) or Mogen David, since they’re inexpensive and you can find them in most grocery stores.

Druid

For druid we want something botanical, so why not just go with a gin. Gin is essentially vodka infused with juniper berry and sometimes other natural botanicals. The flavor of more botanical gin can be a little overwhelming, so you might try some out at a bar before splurging on a bottle for home. There are a huge variety of gin drinks, some specific to more botanical profiles. I’m a fan of Hendrick’s Gin, which is pretty easy to find.

Fighter

Fighters are tough and practical. You want a drink that sips like a meal. I’d go for a good hearty stout and call it a night. If you’re playing a fighter, you probably already have a favorite, but if you don’t you can always start with Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout. It’s smooth and generally pretty easy drinking, and you can find it almost anywhere.

Monk

While it might be tempting to go with an Asian drink here, and certainly you should if you’ve got a favorite, but don’t forget that there are beers out there still made by monks today. Specifically Trappist beer, which is brewed at eleven monasteries, most of which are in Belgium. Seek them out mostly at specialty beer stores.

Paladin

Paladin is a difficult one to pin down, but it would seem you’d want to go with a drink that’s not going to make you feel like you’re neglecting your code. You want to stay pure. The purity of the apple might be your solution. Hard apple ciders come in a wide variety of sweetness and flavors. This is D&D so maybe just go for a Strongbow since it’s got a weapon right on the bottle and it’s probably the easiest to find.

Ranger

Woodsy rangers might just want to go with the same botanical gins as druids. If you’d like to go right on the nose, you can pick up Ranger, a popular IPA by New Belgium. That way everyone knows you’re a ranger. It’s right there on your bottle. If you’re a duel wielder, maybe get two bottles.

Rogue

Another one that could be quite literal, why not grab Rogue Dead Guy Ale? Maybe I’m biased, since I’m from the Rogue valley of Oregon, where it’s made. It’s a popular ale and you can use the dead guy on the label to show your victims what you’re going to turn them into.

Sorcerer

Sorcerers are all about big flashy final results, less about the nuances and subtlety. I’d go for mixed drinks for sure. Hard liquor. If I had to settle on a particular type, well why not go for Fireball? It’s a cinnamon whiskey and people are constantly coming up with mixed drinks that use it. Plus, y’know, it’s called fireball. Like, the spell.

Warlock

Like wizards, warlocks are a bit on the scholarly side, if only to learn the names of the extraplanar beings they’re summoning, so I’d err on the side of wine. A number of blood red blends come in “dark” versions, usually released around Halloween, that have a bit of that dark magic flair. Notably there’s Midnight by Ménage à Trois and Apothic Dark. If your patron is The Fiend you might go for Velvet Devil by Charles Smith.

Wizard

Finally, the wizard is an erudite and elegant class, surely deserving of wine. But wine is a wide field, let’s look at a few of the major types and assign them to specific specialty schools.

Abjuration. Protection sounds like a simple white. Try a viognier, which is a nice, pure, dry white wine with a bit of an acidic green-grape flavor.
Conjuration. A conjurer wants to be able to bring forth their drink at any time. Grab 4-pack bottles of nearly any common varietal and you can hide them up your sleeves. Mmmagic!
Divination. Moscato di Asti is a nice semi-sparkling sweet wine found in the bubbly section. Add a twist of lime to really pull out the flavor and it feels like someone’s putting on a fortune teller’s act.
Enchantment. I’d go with bubbly champagne, or really its less expensive cousin “cava” from Spain. And go for the “extra dry” ones if you want them medium sweet, trust me.
Evocation. Powerful and destructive; sounds like a big bold California cabernet sauvignon, or maybe a South American malbec.
Illusion. Fleeting and maybe not even really there, I’d go for a vinho verde, which is a super light semi-sparkling white from Portugal. Very, very, inexpensive.
Necromancy. Syrah is a nice dark red (called “shiraz” in Australia). If you couple it with a super dark chocolate you’ll taste an amazing third flavor emerge, like the dead rising from their graves.
Transmutation. You can transform the dry, acidic, bubbly prosecco into a heavier sweet drink called a bellini, just by pouring in a bit of peace puree. It’s like magic.

So, drink and adventure responsibly and let us know what you’re imbibing in the comments.

Featured Image Credit: Wizards of the Coast

Image Credits: Wizards of the Coast

Top Stories
Trending Topics