New Year’s resolutions. Almost everyone makes them. Very few people hold to them. But what about superheroes? If you’ve got the powers of a god and you make a resolution to “eat less dairy,” do you have a bigger obligation to keep to it? Well, we may never get an answer to that question. But via DC Comics’ official Instagram, we did get the New Year’s resolutions to several of the company’s most iconic heroes. In fact, six of the seven main members of the Justice League all revealed their New Year’s resolutions going into 2024. Sorry, Martian Manhunter, maybe next year. You can check them all out down below:

Ok, so all of these Justice League New Year’s resolutions were very tongue-in-cheek. Although some of these are ones we think the actual characters might actually have in the comics. Wonder Woman vowing to “mediate daily on the freeing power of truth?” is very on brand for her. And, “Revise the contingency plan for my contingency plan’s contingency plan?” That sounds very Batman. Hey Bruce, how about no more contingency plans on how to stop your fellow Justice Leaguers in case they go bad without telling them first? That never goes well.

The DC Comics heroes, art by Dan Mora for Justice League New Year's Resolutions piece
DC Comics

Speaking of being mind-controlled and going bad, we kind of love that Superman has “Make it the full year without being mind-controlled and going evil” as part of his resolutions. The world would surely be a better place if that happened less, Clark. We have enough “evil Supermans” on The Boys and Invincible. Some major DC Comics characters didn’t get to reveal their New Year’s resolutions alongside the Justice League. But we’d like to think Nightwing’s is, “Stop competing with my father figure.” Maybe Black Canary’s resolution is, “Stop raising my voice to Green Arrow, it makes his ears bleed.” Hopefully, next year we find out the DC Villains’ New Year’s Resolutions. Although we admit, we’re a wee bit scared to see the Joker’s.