Now that Thanksgiving has passed, and all of the cannabis-infused gravy has been poured down people’s gullets and all of the Alien Facehugger feasts have been served, the next big holiday meal many people have to look forward to is Christmas dinner. But for serious—like, Gus Fring serious—gamers out there, Christmas dinner is really just a hinderance on the way to scoring points, splattin’ baddies, and conquering cosmic worlds. Which is apparently why British video game retailer GAME is bringing back its much balley-hoo-boy-ed Christmas dinner in a can. (Although it’s most likely a marketing ploy.)
GAME’s 2019-version of its Christmas dinner in a can, which was reported by The New York Post, is, like its predecessor, dubbed “Christmas Tinner.” The original Tinner, designed by British art director, Chris Godfrey, was first made available back in 2013—possibly, if these Tinners are real. At that time, the Tinner was generally described as the “The Most Unappetizing Dinner Ever,” although no outlet reporting on it at the time could confirm that it was even real.
Cut to 2019, and it seems like we have a little bit of a Groundhog Day situation going on. Numerous outlets are again reporting on the Tinner, although GAME’s webpage for the product notes that it’s already sold out. Which could just be due to extraordinarily high demand for what looks like a cylindrical cake made of broken dreams, although is more likely another hint that the Tinner is just a hoax; the 2013 version was sold out before anybody (that we could find, at least) could get their hands on it as well. On top of that, a quick scan of social platforms including Twitter and Instagram didn’t turn up any IRL pictures of the Tinners. Although we did find this YouTube video:
The only evidence we could find of GAME’s Christmas Tinner possibly being a real thing.
Regardless of whether the Christmas Tinners are real or just a marketing ploy, it’s certainly a fascinating concept. The OG Christmas Tinner brought back for this year has nine layers of flavors, and includes foods like scrambled eggs and bacon, minced meat pie, turkey and potatoes, and Christmas Pudding. GAME also announced two new versions, a “Veggie Christmas Tinner” and a “Vegan Christmas Tinner.” The Veggie Tinner has layer flavors like sprouts, gingerbread pancakes, and cauliflower cheese, while the Vegan Tinner offers up a mix of culinary treats like spiced red cabbage, vegan custard, and roasted butternut squash.
Here are full lists of each Tinner’s makeup, because while they may not be real, maybe you’ll be inspired (after you’re done regurgitating Christmas-colored bile):
Traditional Christmas Tinner
Layer 9 – Christmas Pudding
Veggie Christmas Tinner
Layer 12 – Potatoes
Vegan Christmas Tinner
Layer 11 – Vegan Chocolate Cake