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Apple Freakin’ Touchscreen Freakin’ Netbooks!!!

Even though SteJo fervently dismissed the idea of an Apple netbook last year, it seems that Apple may release a 9 or 10-inch touchscreen netbook in the second half of the year, according to that hilarious comedy website With the possibility of the WWDC happening in June I can’t help but hope and wonder that the big summertime announcement this year could be this device. You’re right, the date is more in sync with the cycle of their iPhone announcements, but since the netbook is a whole new bloody device (I’m not British) then who knows what the product cycle could be? My guess on pricing would be somewhere between $800-$1000, mainly because, as it will be more of a computer, it would have to cost more than an untethered iPhone, right?

Also, it seems like APPL needs something big to drop. Their last several announcements could have been settings on a Sound Spa clock radio next to “Rainforest” and “Waterfall.” A strong announcement could also try to dampen any blow that may be incurred if Jobs doesn’t come back (coincidentally in June). On top of that heaping pile of potentially questionable reasoning you might add Apple’s  general device-launching M.O. to the mix:  sit back for a while to test the viability of the market and then make a more fuckable netbook.

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh!!!! It’s a vile plot!!! This must be how Art Bell feels all the time!!! 2,1 iPhones…netbooks…SteJo’s health…IT’S TOO MUCH.

My emotions can only be adequately expressed through the following musical link.

ANNIHILATION's 'Shimmer' and Ending Explained

ANNIHILATION's 'Shimmer' and Ending Explained

Why the Internet is Overreacting About RICK AND MORTY Season 4

Why the Internet is Overreacting About RICK AND MORTY Season 4

Expect Permanent Deaths For AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

Expect Permanent Deaths For AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR



  1. Hondah says:

    The rumor continues to grow each time seems more true.

  2. WinBingo says:

    Many rumors came out today for this new era of Apple.

  3. un-bride says:

    What I thought would be a nerdgasm turned into a rant with an Art Bell reference. Nice work, sir.

  4. Roberto says:

    You are a very handsome man Mr Chris. I would like to make man love to you. Please come to New Jersey soon. Thank you Mr Chris.


  5. I also think that Apple has been a little bit wimpy in their announcements lately. They need something to shock the world and show that Steve Jobs being sick isnt’ going to effect the company, which you know it actually will in the long, but they need to put on the happy face.

    I would be very interested in these netbooks if I could surf porn more one-handed then right now with my MacBookPro. It’s all the “control” right clicking that breaks my rhythm.

    I love that song you linked to. Brings back some pretty far away and far in the past memories. Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be turning 37 and well I am a little sad to be getting older, but what can you do right?

    Great article as always. Keep up the great website.

    Michael (The Birthday Boy)

  6. Never mind, it’s Club Nouveau…I has the power of searching iTunes!

  7. What is that song? It’s a delicious blend of 80’s synth/cheese.


  8. Alex says:

    I really hope it goes for less than that, I’d rather just save an extra 100 bucks to get a macbook.

  9. Does anyone secretly hope that the Apple tablet will be a contender with the iRex digital reader?

    I’ve been drooling over this product for months. Unfortunately Gadget Pron hasn’t reviewed it yet, but I do hope that any tablet Apple comes out with has graphic designers in mind and uses some new form of Wacom Cintiq technology. I’m a Wacom addict and if I could use my tablet for my illustrator creations, heck even just Nik Color Efex Pro 3.0, I’d be a very happy girl.

    If not, I guess I’ll just continue to drool over the iRex Digital Reader since it is the only wireless Wacom device I’ve heard good reviews on. Neither Cintiq model currently offered are Wifi or Bluetooth compatible.

  10. kskwared says:

    I was expecting this to be the song at the end. Does that make me a bad person?

  11. Ligt says:

    Awesome news, this is what I want. I don’t want an iPhone, but I want this.

  12. that’s sound good, the bad thing is the price maybe.

  13. Mrmonkeyman says:

    I think that since Apple is an American company then you should just endorse it. You don’t have to use it as I don’t either because of the limitations of their devices but at least they’re devices are user frienldy for the common man to use. With your powers on nerdism and knowledge of tech you could get the company back on the way to the top. I suggest that you suggest to Apple that if they do make a netbook then they should give it a dual-core Atom and attach a pci-e to the bottom of the netbook to allow for an external graphics card which would increase sales of graphics cards and be badass to have. What matters is that they cater to the average human being that can afford an apple product. You have the power!!!

  14. Liz T says:

    Awesome. Love the Art Bell comment. This is the first time I’ve read your blog but now I’ll have to read much more of it. Thanks!