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Android Gets Boobs

Well, a massive rock has just been hurled at iPhone’s Isengard. A Seattle-based company called MiKandi is launching a porn delivery app for Android.

Since orgasms are the carrot that lead humans into pretty much ANY direction, this could be a major boon for Android and its symbiotic hardware. And I am violating my own snark doctrines when I say that with 100% sincerity. There’s a great story that the reason Blu-Ray won the High Def war over HD-DVD is that the porn industry threw its fleshy weight behind the former. I sure wish they’d throw their weight behind really useful things like renewable energy sources or Web Soup.

I wouldn’t say that this is going to topple Apple, but don’t be remotely surprised if you see a sudden, double entendre-like vertical spike in Android sales. Since people are in an unrelenting pursuit to harvest their boners whenever/wherever, this will definitely persuade those on-the-fencers who can’t even get to first base with iPhone.

ADDED THOUGHT: The coming months will bring with them a much stronger reluctance on my part to shake your hand if I see a sweaty Porndroid phone clutched tightly in the other one.

FINAL THOUGHT: I really wanted to get the jump on a slang term for this, so let anyone who masturbates to mobile content henceforth be known as “a bit-bopper.”

via PCWorld

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  1. Jeffrey says:

    Those with jailbroken iphones will always have iSteamy. I downloaded it to beta-test *ahem* and it wasn’t done very well. Plus, you have to register to see a lot of the more saucy pics/vids. But hey, it’s better than nothing, right? Or is it?

  2. mPony says:

    Ha! I just got it.. your name is funny cuz penises get hard.

    Also, you’re 100% right.. porn is a great way to get people off the fence.
    Also, it’s hard to masturbate while on a fence.

  3. skunkbear says:


  4. Yes , im getting android, porn is great!!

  5. Deltus says:

    I find the relatively small screen doesn’t have the resolution to really give you both the overall picture and detail enough to… um…

    Never mind.

  6. Kiju says:

    Do they have “Microgasms”?

  7. Beau Ryan says:

    I think I will develop a blacklight app that I can use to see all the dried up little children on my friends phones. win?

  8. flatcurve says:

    hehe… “The coming months”

  9. scarr says:

    Interesting idea, but as long as a phone can access the internet, it can access porn. This isn’t exactly new.

    Also, I thought the adult industry was backing HD-DVD because they were cheaper to produce. That said, I think my source was forum comments during the war, so that might not be too reliable.

  10. Aaron MK says:

    Soooo…. If I ever meet YOU with a sweaty, Somewhat battered Android phone in one hand…. And a dubiously moisturized other hand….. I mean, What’s the plan of action there?!!? Go in for the hug?

  11. Michael says:

    It takes someone with a name like “Hardwick” to know what makes a good porn double-entendre.

  12. Tina says:

    LMAO! It was only a matter of time.