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And Now, a 4-Minute Long SIZZLER Commercial to Remind You of a Simpler Time

The American dream of the early nineties was one rife with possibility and endless options. It was a simpler time, where families gathered ’round the buffet at their neighborhood Sizzler and dreamed of a better tomorrow. All of which is fully embodied in this truly astounding 1991 commercial/cult initiation film/music video for the meaty chain restaurant. Get ready to have your mind blown by everything you love the most, Internet: singing, 90s outfits, cheesy over-acting, and endless meat and seafood.

Is Sizzler the Scientology of gluttony and having-it-allness? It would seem to appear that way, what with how much they have in common: the singing, a promise of a better tomorrow, celebrities (tell me that isn’t a time-traveling blonde Jason Sudeikis at 2:11), and endless options. You can eat in a traditional dining room setting! Or how’s about the overeating extravaganza of a buffet table? All of this and more is available to you at Sizzler.

Because — and they said it best in the ad itself — ♫♬ Sizzler is the choice of America ♫♬!

That’s the Sizzler way, you guys. Not that they needed to sell us on it — I mean look at how many different types of people are congregating in this beacon of hope and prosperity! But we are sorta curious as to why they thought they needed to take 4:41 to do that. Where did commercials this long air? They had us at “All across America, the song of freedom rings.” And let me tell you, that song tastes like meat sweats.

What’s your favorite part of the video (WE KNOW THAT IS A VERY CHALLENGING QUESTION, WE’RE SORRY)? Let us hear it in the comments.

HT: Our own Jesse McKeil/Esquire

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