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9-Year-Old’s NEW YORKER Cartoon Captions Are Killing the Internet

9-Year-Old’s NEW YORKER Cartoon Captions Are Killing the Internet

For nearly a century now, the New Yorker has featured writing by some of the world’s most respected minds. Joining those ranks is a fresh new voice who may just top the lot with what could arguably be the best content the magazine has ever produced. That’s an impressive feat without even considering the fact that the source is only nine years old.

Jimmy Kimmel Live writer Bess Kalb tweeted out some of the best cartoons her cousin’s daughter Alice has come up with for the magazine’s caption contest. They aren’t simply “humorous for a nine-year-old.” They are flat out hilarious, period.

Put “I told you to give the mayor pizza” on my tombstone.

It sounds like Alice really loves writing these, because Kalb says she makes sure to nab the magazine when it’s delivered before anyone else can.

Someone get this kid an agent now. No, seriously, look at this next one and try to come up with a better, cleaner, more pure joke.

Kalb is an Emmy-nominated comedy writer, and even she had to admit how impressive her little relative is.

Kalb also pointed out how often young women are discouraged from pursuing a career in comedy writing, a largely male-dominated industry, which is why this is much more important than just one young girl.

Imagine trying to discourage someone so young who came up with this:

Understandably, the internet freaked out over these, and Kalb made sure to let Alice know how popular her captions were. But because she’s still a kid, Alice had the most kid response ever to the whole thing.

Now that’s funny.

Which one of Alice’s captions is your favorite? Tell us in the comments below.

Featured Image: New Yorker

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