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3G iPhone Gets a Newer, Lower Rating on "Attack of the Show"

As promised, here is the AOTS re-review of the 3G iPhone. I want to make it clear that my goal is not to mindlessly crap on Apple–every computing device I have is a Jobs job. I think the 3G iPhone is a forward-thinking device that has the potential for being amazing but instead is only ok-zing. If the battery life and 3G coverage were useful, it’d be a score. Two things are an enormous bummer here:

1) AT&T charges more for their 3G plan but has embarrassing 3G coverage. I know there are some lawsuits a-brewing for crappy service and I sincerely hope it makes them sit up and actually put all of the cash they’re making back into their coverage. Of course, this probably won’t happen.

2) Regarding Apple and tech in general: Technology seems to be the only industry in which it is totally cool to release products before they’re finished. Successive patches and updates are now the norm. I realize that not every bug can be predicted until a device starts undergoing usage on a macro scale, but lately it seems ridiculous. It’d be like buying a microwave with just a “cook” switch and having to wait several months for the company to come over and install the door, the timer and the carousel. I think Apple released a bunch of stuff this year that they knew wasn’t ready and now their loyal consumers are getting hosed. My hope is that the countless complaint threads finally reach SteJo himself and they use 2008 as example of what not to do again. Unfortunately, they continue to amass Byzantine-grade riches thanks to a product line that you want to have hard sex with whenever you look at it, so I’m guessing most of those consumer tears will go unwiped.

In the anthropomorphized PC/Mac campaign, I feel like at some point
Justin Long’s hipster character should properly represent the stability
of some of Apple’s products by having the standard arty hipster anxiety
attack and curl up into a ball on the floor while cutting himself.

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  1. Deltus says:

    Sorry for coming into this conversation, oh *glances at watch* a few months late. I looked up “iPhone” in your tag cloud, and came here. Ever consider having just the iPod Touch, and a phone that works (on a carrier you can live with)? I have a Windows CE phone (yeah, it’s a little trashy), the HTC Touch, and an iPod Touch for all the nearly-Jesus-phone goodness. Having it all in one device is good, but only if one of the primary functions, well, functions. Functions well, that is. You know what I mean.

  2. The Nerdist says:

    Totally understand…and I hope I was clear in the review and past posts: AT&T and Apple indeed share equal responsibility for the iPhone problems.

  3. SailRacer says:

    Nerdist – You do travel way more than I do. I’ve no doubt you’ve experienced problems with ATT. I hear people complain about them all the time. BUT, I also hear people bitch about every other cell carrier all the time too. Truth is, I drive all over the state of Michigan, and AT&T is the only company that offers anything resembling reliable service here.

    I’m not trying to give them a free pass, it just really bothers me that so many people are pinning all of the Jesus Phone’s problems on AT&T. That’s like me complaining about Comcast because I have a shitty TV. I think people need to decide if they want a super awesome PDA that sometimes works as a phone, or a phone that works.

  4. The Nerdist says:

    Saily- I had a Treo 650 and then a Treo 750 with AT&T and they both got terrible reception, both in LA, NY, SF and most other places I travel to do stand-up (I’m going to guess that I travel more than you do). Whatever area you live in, you are blessed.
    Besides, you need to look at AT&T’s 3G coverage map. It truly sucks. I keep 3G off most of the time because it comes up “No Service” a lot. That’s not a hardware issue. On top of that, their customer service is bad. I called them last year (pre-iPhone) and asked why coverage was so poor in my area (the middle of Los Angeles) and they told me that the lease on a tower nearby ran out and they weren’t sure they were going to renew it. In a city of 12 million people, renew the goddamn tower lease.

    You are the first person EVER, and I mean that without hyperbole, that has said anything positive to me about AT&T’s service.

  5. SailRacer says:

    I love how many iPhone problems are blamed on ATT. I have Samsung phone on ATT and I hardly ever drop calls. When I do it’s because I’m driving through the back woods of northern Michigan. The phone drops calls because it’s not good at being a phone. The keyboard lags because there are problems with the OS. It crashes because it doesn’t handle its apps well. The battery dies because there is poor battery management. None of this is ATT’s fault. The DeathStar Corp definitely could have done a better job of proliferating 3G coverage, but other than that what of this is their fault?

  6. The Nerdist says:

    I knew it! Thanks, Tara. I’m not running any weird scripts. This is puzzling…

  7. Tara says:

    In answer to your Twitter question of ten or so minutes ago: yes, I’m on Firefox, and the entries start looking weird at the one about the quilt.

  8. smoovebert says:

    it’s true. it’s true. dammit.

  9. Alan says:

    Open up that bad boy to all cell phone networks and all bets are off. I predict a BLITZKREIG of sales and universal usage by everybody who can beg, steal or borrow to get one despite any of AOTS’s reviews. ATT sucks balls and Apple is a scrotum for having done any dealings with them and yes, I’m the dick for having said that… so what?

  10. chrisallen says:

    people are crying FAIL for you not giving it a 50% or so, but in reality, it still is (right now) the “coolest” phone out there and the touch interface is miles ahead of other phones.

    g-phone, android, yes yes…. soon we shall see if someone can finally topple apple (alliteration!!!).

    until then, the iphone (edge) still works for me and i prefer it among the competition.