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20-Something Ninja Turtles Are the Sad, Unemployed Heroes of Today

When you’re a teenage turtle with crazy ninja skills, living with your fellow mutant master rent-free in the sewers of New York, you have a charmed life with a future that looks awfully bright. You hang out with your friends, fight some crime, eat a lot of pizza, and beat up anonymous soldiers in the Foot Clan…all without the worry of bills and the stress of being on your own.

Then you go off to college, work hard to earn your degree, and realize the promises made to you by society aren’t exactly coming to fruition. Which is why the 20-Something Ninja Turtles are, sadly, the superheroes of a new generation.

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This all too real—and all too depressing—look at the difficult adulthoods of those heroes in a half-shell in comes from Red Rooster, the same studio responsible for the web series Red vs. Blue.

Like so many young Americans, human and mutant alike, the four vigilantes find themselves with lots of student debt, but no job to actually pay it down. Because even when you’ve got tons of experience fighting Shredder and an ingenius evil brain from another dimension, that doesn’t count as a relevant qualification for working anywhere but a coffee shop or as an Uber driver.

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Although, as with all struggling millennials, let it be noted that they can’t afford their rent, but somehow they can still afford mutant Netflix. Splinter should have spent a little less time on ninja skills and a little more time on personal finances. Though in fairness, what the hell does a rat know about money?

What job do you think each of the 20-Something Ninja Turtles might be best at? Tell us in the comments below.

Images: Red Rooster

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