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Appetite For Destruction, or You’re Shred To Me

Yeah, I know, this is already making the rounds of the Net, Boing Boing and BuzzFeed and everyone. I don’t care. Here:

There is something visceral and… oh, I don’t have to explain it to you. It’s shredding everything! Paper? Hah! This makes short work of… sanitary pads? Sneakers? Fruit and vegetables? Okay, it’s not like they’re destroying trucks or anything like that, but this beats the hell out of my office shredder, which chokes on thick envelopes. Plus, even the soft stuff looks cool when it’s being consumed by the metal gears. Really, I want one of these things. Hey, we need to clear some space in the Nerdist Enterprises office… can we borrow it?

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  1. Jay says:

    Not a truck, but the same basic shredder shreds a VW Beetle:

  2. @paulherbig says:

    I agree. That music is boss.

  3. James M says:

    Yeah, sure. Cool grindy thing. Whatever. This video is all about the music, people.

    Bap! … Baaaadap bap badap! Squeeeeeditybeeditydeebitydeeaaoooo.

    Mind-blowing stuff.

  4. Julian says:


  5. Simona says:

    It’s a Darwin Award waiting to happen!
    Once I saw a video of the same machine, only bigger where a few exuses for human beings trew dead, at least I hope they were, farm animals into it, I had nightmares for weeks!

  6. Monroe says:

    It sure munched that carpet!

  7. electricspacegirl says:

    Yeah, I’d be afraid to get too close to that thing.

  8. Anonymous Burrito says:

    Hells, yeah! Fsck celery! It had it coming.

  9. Jonathon Crouch says:

    Perfect corporate douchebag music. Where is the accompanying link to of the entire human being drawn through it?

  10. Amanda says:

    Why did they have so many feminine products on hand? haha

  11. Jay says:

    This seems like it could be the next Final Destination.

  12. Hurricane Ditka says:

    These things are used in Wastewater Treatment Facilities. Normally they are either in a channel (Channel Monster) or in-line in a pipe (Muffin Monster). Also called a “Comminutor”. In the video above you can see holes drilled in the side of the face of the muffin monster, this is where the flange would mount it to its specific installation.

    The logo for the Muffin Monster

    They only work as shown in the video if you need the teeth sharp and sides aligned. All the teeth have to be timed so they meet perfectly, otherwise its bad news.

    These things get huge!

    I never thought that anything dealing with my job would post on this blog!

  13. STEVE C says:

    that. thing. scares. me.

  14. Greg says:

    When it gets jammed, it only seems to fuel its desire to destroy. This thing is 110% murder.

  15. Jet says:

    That guys HATES Tampax! You go boy!

  16. KeyKey says:

    There was something like this in 30 Days of Night, but bigger.

  17. J-Rod says:

    20th Century – Cool Piece of Machinery!

    21st Century – Health & Safety Nightmare!

  18. Jess says:

    For the love of Pete, why are they feeding that stuff in by hand???

    I was half-expecting the video to end with a human arm getting fed through…

  19. Christy says:

    You know what it reminds me of? LAWNMOWER MAN.

  20. Joel says:

    +1 Chris! One finger that gets stuck in there might mean you lose your whole arm! This puts the movie Fargo to shame.

    Hilarious! I can’t get this stupid grin off my face, both for the abject destruction of whatever goes into the machine and the sheer danger of it all.

  21. johnny says:

    finally, my ‘machine that will destroy everything’ fetish is satisfied.

  22. Tzvi says:

    destroying the evidence has never been so easy!

  23. Chris says:

    there should probably be a some sort of safety guard so you don’t stick your finger in there.