“This is the way the world ends, This is the way the world ends, This is the way the world ends, Not with a bang but a whimper.” – T.S. Elliot
Who knew that the whimper T.S. Elliot famously wrote about was the heartbreakingly slow, dejected, pepperoni-scented fart of an antisocial millennial. This month, you can order from Domino’s using a single emoji.
There is definitely a fine line between convenience and laziness and the world of pizza may have just crossed the point of no return. Starting May 20th, Domino’s regulars will be able to order pizza delivery via a tweet using the pizza emoji. This appears to have been put in place so that people can distract themselves as soon as possible that the moment the realization hits that they are considered a “regular” at Domino’s.
I’m not knocking pizza delivery by any means. Whether it’s delivery, bite-sized bagel, or roll form, pizza — in some form or another — makes up the majority of my very irresponsible diet and it’s usually quite delightful. In name of ordering ease, though, has Domino’s gone too far? According to USA Today, Domino’s CEO Patrick Doyle spoke about the roll-out of emoji ordering saying “It’s the epitome of convenience” and “We’ve got this down to a five-second exchange.” But maybe that’s the issue. Is it really about convenience or is it about avoiding human interaction?
This program is a clear attempt at appealing to younger tech-centric consumers and the powers that be at Domino’s — which is… I assume, The Noid? — say this method of ordering will be permanent despite other companies like Starbucks not following through with similar programs after a trial period. If the program does stick around for a while, it will only be a matter of time before other companies follow suit in the use of social media. Doyle also told USA Today that the goal is to look at platforms “where people are spending time”, which of course will mean Facebook, Instagram and probably our very own bathrooms.
Something about tweeting food orders seems a bit too impersonal to me. Plus, there’s are a whole bunch of questions that still to be answered. Does one pizza emoji equal an entire pizza? Can you order 140 in one tweet? What emoji do you use to cancel? Can you order a Hawaiian pizza with the pig and pineapple emoji?
Maybe I’m overthinking things here and, as a fan of GrubHub and online ordering to begin with, maybe I’m afraid I’ll like this too much. Maybe I’m afraid to find out if I am a Domino’s regular. Maybe never talking to anyone and emoji-ordering the McDonald’s of pizza is actually a good thing.
Nope. Definitely not that last part.
For those interested, the program starts on May 20th and even if you don’t qualify for the program remember that there’s always the Push For Pizza app for iOS devices that can be customized for your local pizza-slicery.
[HT: The Verge]
Emoji-ing pizza into existence? Your thoughts? Your fears? Let us know in the comments or let me know on Twitter (@theblakerodgers).