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Episode 131: You Made It Weird
Matt Mira
You Made It WeirdYou Made It Weird

You Made It Weird #131: Matt Mira

Matt Mira (Nerdist podcast!) makes it weird!

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Comments

  1. Sid says:

    Just indulged myself with listening to this for the first time.  Time for an update Matty & Petey! :D

  2. Jackson says:

    AWESOME PODCAST! Helped me with an essay!

  3. Amanda says:

    Loading Contagion in another window, while listening to an old weirdcast when suddenly, serendipity hits! :)

  4. Sam says:

    By far my favorite episode. It hits close to home, since the exact same thing happened to me too. I return to this one many times. Can’t even describe what a treasure it is to have and listen to whenever I feel blue. Thank you thank you thank you.

  5. Ginni says:

    Loved it.
    Matt, you the shit. Love you. Have since I started listening to Nerdist, as soon as I hear your laugh I’m totally in. You were open, honest and quite frankly, this podcast was fucking helpful!!

  6. Cara says:

    I really liked this episode. I don’t get why people feel the need to put up a “my life is perfect” front. I sooooo appreciate when people talk openly about how their lives really function. If we were all a bit more honest, we’d all be a lot happier.

  7. No name says:

    I recently came across this story on the web. I know this is old news now, but I feel I need to provide some input.

    As the woman whose marriage “she who shall remain nameless” ruined, I don’t believe those of you who can possibly defend her. I was in a relationship for 10 years with Matt’s best friend. She was also a friend of mine.

    There are boundaries you do not cros. Period. And after reaching out to her for closure and answers to help me move on, she ignores me instead of being the bigger person and admitting to what she did and perhaps providing an apology for throwing my life into chaos? Mainly to her “friend” who defends her above: No, she does not have a heart. She is not a kind person.

  8. Harry in Toronto says:

    Love Pete and Matt! So funny, so sad and so weird. I know Matt can’t understand why anyone would want to listen to him spilling his guts out, but, for me, it was interesting. I felt Pete was trying to help his friend work through the pain of his experiences, as a friend and comrade in comedy. It’s understandable that the more famous they get, the more isolated they get. Plus, when you’re a comedian and your friends are comedians, are you going to be the guy who wants to bring everyone down and talk about your problems? No.
    Pete’s the (if I may quote WKRP) “the healing prescription” for his colleagues.
    Looking forward to see the show if I can ever get a ticket before being sold-out here.

  9. Nerdcheesemelt says:

    Matt comes through big on this ep. IMOP the best nerdest ep are the ones with Matt. Thanks for the story Matt, many of us have been through something like this.

  10. Sloop says:

    Revenge? Meh.

    I think anyone who hasn’t been in that situation can’t fully appreciate the stigma. Matt partially expressed it by saying that he wasn’t talking about it with anyone. It’s bad enough that the situation itself is torturous, but what makes it more torturous is that you feel like if you talk to anyone about it you’re betraying the confidence of the person who’s making your life a living hell. It’s the perfect trap. You can’t live in the situation because it’s hell, you can’t walk away from the situation because if you did and the other person did something to themselves you’d be in another hell – this time of guilt because if you hadn’t left you could have stopped it. You go back and forth with yourself, saying that on one hand the other person has no right to treat you the way they do and make you feel like shit, and on the other hand they’re not completely balanced and they can’t help it because they don’t have full control over their own actions, and that you need to be the bigger person in the situation which you already know is impossible to do every single day in every single conversation because you’re only human, but you feel it’s your responsibility to try. And try. And try. And die a little inside every time you glance at the calendar and realize that you’ve spent another day, another week, another year absolutely miserable.

    Matt was talking about HIS experience with the situation which he has every right to do. He didn’t go easy on himself and neither did Pete. But he spent a good chunk of his life doing the best he could to do what he thought was the right thing for this other person. Don’t give him a hard time for now doing what’s best for himself.

  11. LJ says:

    I wish that I hadn’t heard about this episode because I enjoy Matt.

    This sounded like a combination of letting Pete push Matt too far and Matt getting a little revenge.

    People wondered what happened mostly because Matt and the guys alluded to major drama. Who cares what the internet wants to know? Even if this 100% true and Matt was a jerk, it’s didn’t really need to be told to the whole world. At worst, she DOES come off as a villain, at best, a very unstable person. Not our business.

    Luckily, it’s over and can’t be repeated (hopefully).

  12. tm says:

    This was my first YMIW–basically just liked Matt Mira on The Nerdist (also new to that podcast) and had no idea what I was getting into. 3 hours! Jesus! It was fascinating though. A few things struck me about this ep and I have been mulling them over for a few weeks:
    1. Matt continually references his inability to communicate in relationships yet talks for 3 hours about this one.
    2. Something about guys who need to remind you how nice they are really bothers me. Aren’t there dark, dark (misogynistict) corners of the internet devoted to this kind of scary stuff? Kind of a slippery men’s rights slope.
    3. Ultimately Matt and Pete DO seem like nice guys so I can’t really figure out why it bothered me.
    4. Greta DID come as the villain until Matt started painted himself as kind of an asshole so I guess it evens out?
    5. Am now addicted to this podcast anyway so who really cares?
    6. I forget why I chose list form for this…

  13. Ben says:

    It was unusual going back and hearing this episode after the last couple. Mainly because someone said “pivotal” and pete didn’t say “Jeremy Pivotal?”

    He’s great on entourage.

  14. rhzunam says:

    It’s too bad that I didn’t listen to it before (in fact still haven’t finished it) and so I comment so late but I think it’s total bullshit for Greta and her friends to come out and complain about Matt and Pete violating her “anonymity”. Where were they and their anonymity complains when she was being mentioned in almost every nerdist podcast, getting retwitted by Matt or sitting next to Chris in the opening Nerdist tv show? So anonymity should only be taken to account when people talk bad about you not when you get praised? It’s BS. The worse thing is that she doesn’t even come that bad in the podcast. Her friends and their BS excuse of hiding behind anonymity NOW, makes them and her look a lot worse than what Matt exposed.

  15. jimjim says:

    This is one of my all time favorite episodes. I could relate so much with the relationship portion. Thanks Matt and Pete for being so open. If only I had heard this episode years ago it would have helped so much. Pete and Matt, this is your choice, but I believe your Ex-wife and Ex-best friend are probably living with a ton of guilt and shame over what they did, and if you ever want to release them from that, you have the power. Anyway, thanks for the podcast

  16. Wendy says:

    Great episode! I stopped listening to the Nerdist podcast a while ago, now I am figuring out that it was when shit started to go downhill for Matt and his ex. I hope he is happier with his new gf and I hope his ex is happier being out of the relationship too. I can definitely sympathize for her and I don’t think she was the big bad villain of the story. It sounded like a stalemate in the relationship and boiled down to a staring contest mentality of who would blink & end it first. I literally teared up while laughing on the subway during the zippity doo da part. That was the silliest, longest (but somehow funnier every time) bit I have heard since “Not feelin’ it!” on this show and made me laugh equally as hard. :)

  17. Spencer Swinson says:

    To those upset at how they approached the topic of MATT MIRA’S (It is his break up, he is allowed to speak on it however he pleases), it is called “You Made It Weird”. Were things said that shouldn’t have been? Maybe. But don’t diminish what this is, which is two comedians, two people discussing a huge portion/event of one’s life. Could better words have been chosen? Sure. But you are vilifying someone for something that you are not involved in.

  18. Matt, I really enjoyed listening to this today. The episode has totally not felt its length. I feel like I got a lot of insight of how bad relationships work (or don’t) and what kind of mindset keeps it going. I hope I don’t have to, but it may come in useful in consoling friends in my life who go through this. So thank you.

    Just now hitting the God stuff. I appreciate Pete knowing about agnostic atheism. I don’t like putting lots of 9’s in a row to describe it, since it’s really more about being presented with evidence, just like any other claim (Bigfoot, fairies). And with that, even though there isn’t a “before the Big Bang”, it might be fun to speculate, but it’s not time to believe until there’s evidence.

  19. Brian says:

    My favorite episode.

  20. laura says:

    crexts.

  21. Tyler says:

    I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead and thought, “wow, that’s extreme, and sounds expensive.” So I just eat like a normal person but watch my portions. Takes some effort, but I’d rather occasionally have to face my hunger than mess with the overhead and expense of juicing.

  22. Josh says:

    Excellent show. Both Matt and Pete were very fair and handled it well. The relationship was clearly the bad guy, no one else.

  23. Hart says:

    I literally just broke up with my boyfriend last week…. my boyfriend of 10 years. I can’t tell you how much it helped me to listen to this podcast – and know that I’m not alone in having accepted being a “sad dad (or mom)” as an alternative to completely breaking someone. I was totally in the place about two years ago, and (with therapy – yayyyy therapy!!!!) I’d found my way out. The problem was that he hadn’t and we couldn’t exist as 1 & a half of a couple.

    I didn’t sabotage the relationship – I didn’t cheat or anything like that. And neither did he. I don’t hate my ex. He’s a good guy who just wasn’t a whole person. It’s not easy to be the one who has to stand up for both of us and say that this just isn’t going to work. Listening to your podcast made me feel like maybe I wasn’t the evil person I have felt like these last couple weeks.

    I just wanted to say thank you.

  24. Chris says:

    I loved the episode. Made me think hard about ways I have sabotaged relationships, and whether Matt agrees or not, I think Pete’s insights to his sabotaging of the situation to be very intriguing and made me realize some things about myself. I love that Matt and Pete are so open. It makes these so much more interesting than any other type of interview. I applaud it.

  25. Lisa says:

    Matt Myro! Just wanted to say I complete disagree with the comments saying you were mean to Greta. All you did was present the story from your point of view. You were kind and self-aware enough to identify your faults in the relationship. I personally really appreciated how you were able to discuss the relationship so frankly, without presenting either party as the villain. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wonderful episode.

  26. Patty Marvel says:

    @JetpackBlues – :HUGS: I am SO buying you drinks when we meet.

  27. JetpackBlues says:

    I’m finally coming to the end of this episode and based on experience I have this to say – when it comes to sex, friendship means NOTHING. I can’t count the amount of times where a friend – a GOOD FRIEND – would hook-up with someone I was in a relationship with without a second thought.

    I place the blame for that happening on who I was with, because they didn’t have the courage or conviction to end the relationship BEFORE making the decision to have sex with somebody else. Let alone somebody that I was friends with, but in their opinion I apparently needed to stay away from.

    Not because of any perceived negative influence, but because when I have sex with him you’ll be so far removed that you’ll have a harder time finding out about it. And because I know I won’t get caught, I’ll keep doing it behind your back.

    But this has happened so many times I wonder, “Is it me?”

    The simple answer is no, it’s not. It’s usually, “Hey, she came on to me and I though that meant the two of you were through.” Based on WHAT, exactly? That you called me to wonder what was going on, or that she was waving her goods in your face and you didn’t give a shit about your friend and went for it?

    I know Matt’s circumstances are different, but combining his and Pete’s stories you end up with mine. Not that anybody cares….

  28. Kim says:

    I think this is understood, but just to clarify; If you are being nice to someone by not breaking up with them, by avoiding them, by creating a hostile atmosphere, that’s not being nice at all. Pete refers to himself constantly as a nice guy. Sweetie Petey. But that’s not nice.

  29. Patty Marvel says:

    @Jack Croswell – I *WAS* going to come in here and point out that everyone knew Matt’s ex’s name from all the Nerdist podcasts she was mentioned in back when they were still together, but I see Mr. Mira himself beat me to it. :HUGS: Matt. That couldn’t have been an easy conversation and I too hope you meet you ex-bestie for coffee some day just to hash things out and get some answers to “WTF were you thinking” and the like.

    As for Pete’s ex, her name is out there now, probably due to a guest saying it on the podcast and Pete quickly adding, “Her name has never been mentioned here before.” Heck, even when a person’s name is NOT mentioned, the collective brain power of the Internet can still put two and two together (see the comment section of the Iliza Shlesinger YMIW, episode #125).

  30. dave says:

    Hell yeah for Katie’s laugh

  31. Jack Croswell says:

    There are also google searches of “Pete Holmes ex wife” and no doubt many other ways one could ascertain her identity, yet Pete doesn’t mention her by name. Why do you think that is Patty? This isn’t about picking on Matt, it’s about challenging him to show a similar professional respect that the host of the show models. End of story.

    • Matt Mira says:

      @jackCroswell Have you ever listened to “The Nerdist” podcast? Greta was mentioned many times on it. In fact if memory serves correctly there is an episode of it titled “Greta’s Calling” in which I actually take a phone call from her on the air. It was episode 131.

      Sorry for not being classy or respectful then either.

  32. Miss Knotty says:

    Very moving podcast. Mira is simultaneously adorable and heartbreaking.

    Also hope you got the $.04 for my Amazon purchase. <3 the show!

  33. Patty Marvel says:

    Can we please back off of Matt? He said at the top of the show how there are Google searches about “Matt and Greta break up,” so now his side of the story is on the record once and for all so he doesn’t have to address it again. Matt was WAY kinder to Greta than Pete has been to his ex-wife, even though they went through similar things. If you think Matt is in the wrong for discussing his ex on this podcast, then you must be SERIOUSLY disappointed in Pete for discussing his, which he’s done in far less flattering terms on more than one occasion and makes me wonder why you’d listen to “You Made it Weird” in the first place.

    Greta could make – and I bet HAS made – the claim that Matt lead her on by moving in with her and staying with her even when he didn’t want to. Fine. That’s her side of events. Maybe she wasn’t outright dumping HIM because she was worried HE would fall apart. Don’t know, don’t care. Every break-up has at least three sides to the story – his, hers and the unbiased truth. Yes, we heard only one here (should Pete have Greta on for equal airtime?), but Matt was kind enough and measured enough we can infer the other two.

    Matt bared his soul to thousands of strangers who he owed NOTHING to. Make of his version of events what you will, but don’t make HIM out to be a bad guy, just a guy.

  34. ^ I was meant to use quotation marks for “rational person” and “loose cannon”. I like Matt’s comment ” I also thought it was clear from the conversation that there was no bad guy in this, the relationship was the bad guy.”

    That’s how I interpreted it. It was still odd that the names were less anonymous. In fact I’d never heard Pete Holmes’ wife name before and I’ve heard every ep.

  35. Being in the treehouse with you guys, having been in a longer than it should’ve been relationship with a volatile person who I also thought could’ve lost it had we broken up. I think there is more to the dichotomy between a rational person (us) and a loose canon (them).

    I know for me, on some level I must have enjoyed drama or just fascinated by friction or defined personalities. Why else would someone choose to be in a relationship where you play some sort of martyr or go through a ritual of fighting everyday. Its enlivening somehow right?

    Anyhoo. Thankfully that dance is over. Great stories guys.

  36. Jack Croswell says:

    I find Matt to usually be pretty hit and miss anyway, but this was way
    off. Three hours?! This was about as funny as being stuck next to
    your crazy uncle at a family gathering, having to hear for the 37th
    time his drunken ramblings about how his ex-wife totally ruined his
    life. I hope that as Matt grows as a person and as a comedian, he will
    find a little bit of class along the way too.

  37. Abby says:

    Yeah, I was disappointed in this one. There’s a classy way to handle these types of things and then there’s another way. This episode was an example of the latter. One thing I’ve learned in my own life is that speaking badly of others rarely reflects poorly on the person you’re talking about, but almost always makes you look small and bitter in the eyes of those listening.

  38. Matt Mira says:

    @Emma,

    I used her first name because everyone was already aware of it. Everything I said was factual. I 100% stand by it. When she changed her twitter profile to “II’ll say I’m a comedian so I’m allowed to make dick jokes” that kind of made it even more public to me as that was from a real discussion we had about the infamous text.

    In Regards to Her being a villain:

    She isn’t. I don’t think she is. And I hope I didn’t present her as such. I wish her nothing but the best, we were both miserable. She knows that. She is a good, kind hearted person. She and I both deserve to be happy. I also thought it was clear from the conversation that there was no bad guy in this, the relationship was the bad guy.

    Matt

  39. Johnothan Pedak says:

    ^ 100% agree with what Emma said.

  40. Emma says:

    I’m a long-time listener of YMIW and, incidentally, a close friend of the ex-girlfriend Matt discusses at length in this episode.

    Whatever went down between Matt and his ex, she’s a real person with feelings and friends who care about her. She doesn’t deserve to be vilified on the internet, especially when she does not have a platform the size of YMIW or Nerdist from which to respond.

    I thought it was classless of Pete and Matt to use her name and discuss her looks on this episode, and I’m pretty disappointed at how willing the fan base of this show is to turn her into some kind of evil character.

    Pete, I hope you’ll be more sensitive to both the humanity and the privacy of ‘civilians’ or non-comedian-types that may come up in future episodes of this show.

  41. JetpackBlues says:

    Everybody needs a bosom foa a pillow – Brimful of Asha

  42. Adam says:

    My phone actually did vibrate when one of their phones vibrated and Pete said all the listeners would be checking their phones!

  43. Mark says:

    Loved the show, but I think his name is Matt MY-RUH, not MY-ROW.