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Win/Win/Fail, Episode II: Bieber Fever

It’s that time again! Put on your party pants and let’s play some Win/Win/FAIL!

WIN: Making Justin Bieber Sound Awesome

You’re not going to believe this, but technology has found a way to make Justin Bieber sound as good as Animal Collective. How? The secret is to play him eight times slower. Yes, if you slow down Justin Bieber’s piano ballad “U Smile” by 800%, the result is an ethereal, slow-building, 35-minute-long epic. Don’t believe me? Give it a listen:

Here’s the original, for comparison. You can hear the first iteration of the chorus, around 00:30-00:45, somewhere between 6:00 and 10:00 in the slowed down version. CAUTION: songs with titles that use the letter “u” instead of “you” in a non-ironic way could cause nosebleeds, brain hemorrhaging, and an insatiable urge to tweet about J Biebz:

[via Gizmodo]

WIN: Incredible 3-D Projection On Building

It loses a few points when it turns out to be a Samsung ad and not some kinda over-the-top animation project, but it’s still pretty impressive.

[via Today’s Big Thing]

FAIL: Nice Try, Sony

A 1973 magazine ad for the Sony TC-377 tape deck…

Great-Grandpa: This is for you, kiddo. Merry Christmas.
Me: Thanks, pop-pop!
(tearing of wrapping paper)
Me: This is…a tape deck?
Great-Grandpa: Yep! Now you can listen to all of your music anywhere in the entire house!
Me: Well…thanks. It looks kinda cool and vintage anyway.
Great-Grandpa: I got you this, too!
Me: Oh, thanks!
(tearing of wrapping paper)
Great-Grandpa: It’s an abacus for your mathematics homework.
Me: (cries)

[via Gizmodo]

Comments

  1. Spoilsport Tragic says:

    But I’d give most anything to have my granddad back.

  2. deb says:

    I have to agree with the observation about the letter “u” substitution; I began experiencing breathing difficulties just reading about it! (Of course, that could also be due to the scorching heat of the late summer–or perhaps the new “organic” ant spray I had to use in my apartment after stores stopped carrying the mint-based repellent that worked safely for me….)
    In any case, this really interests me, as I used to do the trick with the rpm setting on my ol’ timey phonograph. Also: good sass quotient!

  3. the_nether says:

    The Bieber song reminds me of the Donnie Darko score. You shut up, Cherita!

  4. Becca says:

    Wow. That really does sound like animal collective…. It could easily score a movie.

  5. Greg S says:

    This track is soooo epic, listened to it on my iPod while flying across the country. Great stuff to listen to while soaring through the clouds! Epiphany inducing for sure.

  6. Jim Payne says:

    P.S. Thanks for the link to the Paulstretch program; I have a few songs that I can’t wait to “stretch” out and see how they sound. It’s kind of funny, because when I was a kid, I used to listen to 45rpm records at 33 1/3 rpm speed, which had kind of a similar effect. My favorite songs to listen to at a reduced speed back then? Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and Tears for Fears’ “Shout.” The epic parts of both songs were even more epic that way, for whatever reason!

  7. Jim Payne says:

    Oh wow — I actually think this IS gorgeous! It sounds an UNCANNY amount like the music off of the “Cathedral Oceans” albums by John Foxx! I have a strong immunity to the “Bieber Fever,” but I really do like this. Thanks for posting it!

  8. mwahahahhaahaaaa! you can’t stop me!

  9. BrokenJpg says:

    @Andy Neuenschwander

    NEVER PUT JUSTIN BIEBER AND HIS FUCKING HAIR EVER ON THIS SITE AGAIN -50% NERD CRED!

  10. Hectorinho says:

    I don’t have that exact model tape deck but I have one very similar to it at home. I keep it for nostalgic reasons (it belonged to my dad)

  11. The name of the guy is Nick Pittsinger, guess he’s some musician or something. But if you want to do your own (like JTanzer did), the program is called Paulstretch and you can get it here: http://hypermammut.sourceforge.net/paulstretch/

  12. What I want to know is: who figured out the Bieber thing?

  13. JTanzer says:

    Just for fun, I slowed Ke$sh’s “masterpiece” Tik-Tok down 1975% and discovered that it was really the soundtrack to a trip of cosmic proportions.

    Tik-Tok times 20 by JTanzer

  14. I don’t know if “awesome” is the word I would use to describe the slowed down Bieber. It’s sort of like if someone autotuned whale songs.