Remember watching Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory as a kid? (The original one from 1971 starring Gene Wilder, of course. Not that Johnny Depp monstrosity.) Such a sweet story! Candy, children, golden tickets to a new life in a deliciously fabulous factory–so lovely! Except it was exactly the opposite. That movie was terrifying! YouTube user Ryan Shukis just posted a modern trailer for the film that gave many of us nightmares for years and it definitely fits the real tone of the thing.
Has it faded into fuzzy memory for you? Let us remind you of some of the finer points. A crazy, sugar-obsessed old hermit collects stature-impaired orange guys named Oompa Loompas, supposedly saving them from murder to give them jobs making candy. None of them wear hairnets over their green locks, by the way. Not exactly sanitary. Nor is it sanitary when one of the greedy little kids on the tour falls into the chocolate river. Does Willy try to help him, I don’t know, not drown in chocolate? Nope. He just lets him get sucked up in a tube. He lets another kid chew a piece of gum that is clearly not up to grocery store standards and sends her to the juicing room when she swells like a blueberry. Willy Wonka is clearly a maniac.
Do you remember that psychedelic river boat ride with the bugs on the walls? “Are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Yes, the danger must be growing?” You sing this to children? What’s wrong with you? Check it out below and marvel at how this didn’t scar you for life! This Mr. Wonka is not a well man! Then he offers to take a kid on as his protege and give him the factory? Nefarious intentions, I tell you! Creepy!
Check out the modern trailer and tweet me/us @JennaBusch/@Nerdist. We want to know how much this film wrecked your brain as a kid. On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t watch the river boat ride video. Shudder.