You better watch out
You better be chill
You better be cool
I’m telling you why
Hip Santa is coming to hang, brah
And it’s going to be so noice
Will Ferrell went on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and introduced us to the newest Saint Nicholas, one who can appeal to the kids today, kids who don’t want someone “old, and lame” that looks like “someone’s weird grandpa.”
This new Santa is a “newer, hipper, badass Santa Claus” who comes armed with a t-shirt gun, and a dons a sleeveless Santa Claus jacket and shorts. This cool Kris Kringle rocks a Bluetooth headset to go with his blonde surfer hair and soul patch.
Oh, and Santa doesn’t travel with reindeer and deliver his presents anymore. That’s not cool. You know what’s cool? Drones. “You just tell Santa what you want, I punch in some numbers in the computer, check to make sure you’re in the ‘Drone Zone,’ and you get the “Special D” from Mr. C–case Claused.”
Lest you fear that the new, hip Santa can’t still bring some Christmas magic, he went out into the audience to hear what Christmas wishes he could make happen. Though the old system has been flipped upside down. “You don’t sit on my lap, I sit on your lap.”
The only real downside is that the new hip Santa is really into Smash Mouth.
Actually, it turns out the old Santa is in on all of this. He might be jolly, but he’s smart too.
Will Ferrell is really good at buying Christmas gifts for kids.
What do you want from the new Santa this year? If you’re in the “Drone Zone” tell us. He’s totally into reading internet comments, brah.