The jury’s still out on whether Batman v Superman will be the movie we need, the movie we deserve, or the movie we want to hurry through to just get to the sequels already. But one thing is pretty much for certain: it won’t have random visual distortions, abrupt substitutions of its actors with Danny Trejo, Mickey Mouse, Adam West, and the ghost of Heath Ledger, nor the sudden insertion of Nintendo characters every time a scene appears to be getting even remotely predictable.
Why on earth would it have such things, you ask? Watch the “Weird Trailer” above and see for yourself. YouTuber Aldo Jones, whose prior works seem to be primarily sped-up, Italian-language synopses of genre movies, has remixed the trailer for Zack Snyder’s next big magnum opus with a prankster’s eye worthy of Mr. Mxyzptlk. Sensing a breakthrough—abetted by an enthusiastic Max Landis retweet—he now has a Facebook fan page, and an announcement he’ll be tinkering with Suicide Squad next.
Which is cool and all, but I’m already interested in seeing that. Hollywood should hire Mr. Jones to play around with Nicholas Sparks movies: trailers, yeah, but full movies too. That way, I might actually pay to see them. Let the fans have their original versions too, of course—I’m not a George Lucas-style absolutist about keeping the newest cut only—but develop a whole separate audience that wants to watch movies like we’re on hallucinogens, only without actually doing them.
Also, an entire feature based on Danny Trejo as Pizza Wonder Woman, please…
You’d buy a ticket, right? Please tell me I’m right in comments below. (Or not. Free country, and all that.)