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Watch New Web Soup Tonight!

A dolphin is a wet mammal that you can hug. Only very occasionally will they try to rape you. If you think of a dolphin like a dog, then a human is really just a large screaming leg.

Watch an all new Web Soup tonight at 5p/8p ET/PT immediately following Attack of the Show!

SPOILER ALERT: Some people get violated by dolphins on tonight’s show. Also, two words: PLACENTA BBQ. And if for no other reason, watch my voice give out throughout the show as I slide into laryngitis from a cold I got in Indiana last weekend. I’m literally squeaking by the end of the show. Which is probably why that dolphin tried to bone me. No cetacean court in the world would convict him because my high pitched squeaks and chirps, at least in dolphin, were asking for it but good!

Comments

  1. Amanda Brumfield says:

    Awwww. That is really sweet.

  2. erin says:

    im glad a dolphin didnt rape me but i did have one land on my head this past summer. in mexico. knocked me the hell out.

  3. Ramon says:

    LMFAO, yeah this was in Chelsea lately awhile back.

  4. stephen says:

    Jordan, look at the picture again, Chris has the bigger smile.

  5. Jordan says:

    i don’t know what’s worse, dolphins raping people or watching Elizabeth Hasselbeck criticize Erin Andrews and then apologizes later, while crying……….all i can say it, “No You Did-n’t”

  6. Stephen says:

    Hardwick, you are in luck! My dolphin costume just came back from the cleaners!

  7. DeJayMint says:

    Havent you ever seen King of the Hill. Hank gets raped by a dolphin. It starts out with the dolphin hugging you but then later he slips roofies in the water and takes you under and has his way with you..

  8. Deltus says:

    You teasing little dolphin slut!

  9. anonymouse says:

    With that facial expression, I bet the dolphin is already trying to rape you. lol

  10. Deanna says:

    Nice dr who reference! Dr Who rules! What do you think about Matt Smith so far?
    Exterminate!
    Deanna

  11. Deanna says:

    Chris, loved the show, as usual! I din’t think your voice was too bad. But seriously, Placenta BBQ? That might very well be the most digusting thing I have ever seen!! Do people really do that?????? Kepp up the great job, I look forward to Wednesdays now!

  12. Narsil says:

    Chris, I’m a big fan and have been following you for some time now, but don’t support dolphins in captivity. Please watch the doc “the cove”.

  13. EnviroChamp says:

    Have you seen The Cove? If not, watching it will change your views about dolphins.

  14. kill rape sleep says:

    ohhh and great job on tonights show your right they were too sexy
    on that note i really hope your laryingitis moves from you to your ex wife barbera aka killbox

  15. kill rape sleep says:

    the next morning the dolphin woke up and told the cop he remembers some thing soft and flesy in his blowhole…it later was know that it was Chris Harddick

  16. james says:

    adorable!

  17. Wow… so I wasn’t expecting a real dolphin. 😀

  18. Brittany says:

    Awww. how cute! Are u gonna dress up as Hello Kitty next? XD

  19. joeclubkid says:

    I’ll have what the dolphins having…

  20. Sonya Ha says:

    I can die now. :) I really enjoyed the Soup last nite! On that note…make sure you get some for yourself. Thanks for being funny.

  21. RonsRobot says:

    Danielle, I’m thinking that the line, “…this was in no way sarcasm”, is physically impossible to say WITHOUT sarcasm. Wait, herein lies the irony. Or is that sardonic? SEMANTIC ERROR. MUST REBOOT.

    OK, you win.

  22. Danielle H says:

    Wow Chris you are very intouch with your inner 13 yr old girl. Squeeing over tiny ponies, rainbow unicorn items, and now dolphin hugging. Good job not letting any of that pesky testosterone get in the way of your fun. :)

    (note although it may seem, this was in no way sarcasm)

  23. IncorrectSyntax says:

    Sucks you got sick whilst in Bloomington, great show btw!

  24. Alyzabeth says:

    Aww, dolphin love!

  25. Rob Pivarnik says:

    Laryngitis, my ass.
    You’re probably just allergic to dolphin jizz.

    Get well soon.

  26. Jamie White says:

    Sorry about the cold but you made fun of me right at the start of the show for having my hand over my mouth.Good thing you didnt eat those nachos my wife offered you!

  27. Madison May says:

    It looks a bit like you’re hugging one of the worms from Tremors. And I’m sure there’s a fetish website dedicated to that somewhere. Oh, internet.

  28. Patti says:

    LOL! Just reading this post makes me want to watch the show!! *I always watch, anyway, but this is a good pitch, Chris* Can’t wait!!

  29. djvexd says:

    I thought the laryngitis was from the repeated dolphin rape…go figure.

  30. John says:

    Oh, Hardwick, three topless photos in just a few months. I don’t think we can stand all this beefcake 😀

  31. Corey says:

    hahaha, so hilarious.