Greetings! Salutations! Ready for a huge batch of new books? Well, this is your week. We’ve got a metric shit-ton of new books coming out that are ripe for the readin’ this Tuesday! So, get crackin’! Kraken?
Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk by The Association for the Betterment of Sex
GOOD GOD—YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG . . .
The Association for the Betterment of Sex (A.B.S.) presents Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk, a radical and invaluable resource for improving your sexual communication—whether you have been in a committed relationship for years, or have just moments ago removed the shrinkwrap from your new Japanese body pillow.
Here are just a few sensual revelations you’ll find within these pages:
– The precise location of the female G-spot (latitude and longitude)- “Going on tour with Midnight Oil” and more outmoded masturbation slang
– Forced perspective and other techniques for visually enhancing the size of your member
– The Top Five pastry-related euphemisms for female genitalia
– How to score big at your next swingers’ party, with our crowd-pleasing ambrosia-salad recipe
– Listings of “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” dry-cleaning services, for freshening up your vinyl fetishwear or adult-sized Tigger costume
– Your first threesome, and how the ancient Mayans predicted it wouldn’t go over so hot
Exhaustively researched and fully illustrated, Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk is a must-read for you, your sexual partner(s), and anyone who wishes there was more to sex than thrashing around for a few seconds and begging for forgiveness.
For all of you Lost nerds:
Lost Encyclopedia Tara Bennett and Paul Terry
Featuring more than 400 pages and over 1500 images, the LOST Encyclopedia will be a comprehensive guide to the characters, items, locations, plotlines, relationships, and mythologies from all six seasons of the landmark series aired on ABC-TV and produced by ABC Studios. Created in full collaboration with ABC Entertainment and ABC Studios, this will be the first and only fully licensed and comprehensive reference to all things LOST, and it includes a foreword by executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse.
Spider Bones by Kathy Reichs
Kathy Reichs—#1 New York Times bestselling author and producer of the FOX television hit Bones—returns with the thirteenth riveting novel featuring forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance Brennan.
John Lowery was declared dead in 1968—the victim of a Huey crash in Vietnam, his body buried long ago in North Carolina. Four decades later, Temperance Brennan is called to the scene of a drowning in Hemmingford, Quebec. The victim appears to have died while in the midst of a bizarre sexual practice. The corpse is later identified as John Lowery. But how could Lowery have died twice, and how did an American soldier end up in Canada?
P.S. Bones is one of my most favorite shows EVEREVEREVER!
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Against all odds, Katniss Everdeen has survived the Hunger Games twice. But now that she’s made it out of the bloody arena alive, she’s still not safe. The Capitol is angry. The Capitol wants revenge. Who do they think should pay for the unrest? Katniss. And what’s worse, President Snow has made it clear that no one else is safe either. Not Katniss’s family, not her friends, not the people of District 12. Powerful and haunting, this thrilling final installment of Suzanne Collins’s groundbreaking The Hunger Games trilogy promises to be one of the most talked about books of the year.
Bearers of the Black Staff (Legends of Shannara) by Terry Brooks
For more than three decades, New York Times bestselling author Terry Brooks has ruled the epic fantasy realm with his legendary Shannara series. With each new novel the mythos has deepened, ever more fascinating characters have arisen, and increasingly breathtaking vistas of magical adventure have emerged. Now the evolution of one of imaginative fiction’s most beloved worlds continues in the first book of the new series Legends of Shannara: Bearers of the Black Staff.
Five hundred years have passed since the devastating demon-led war that tore apart the United States, leaving nothing but scorched and poisoned ruins, and nearly exterminating humankind. Those who escaped the carnage and blight were led to sanctuary by the boy savior known as the Hawk—the gypsy morph. In an idyllic valley, its borders warded by powerful magic against the horrors beyond, humans, elves, and mutants alike found a place they believed would be their home forever.
But after five centuries, the unimaginable has come to pass: The cocoon of protective magic surrounding the valley has vanished. When Sider Ament, the only surviving descendant of the Knights of the Word, detects unknown predators stalking the valley, he fears the worst. And when Panterra Qu and Prue Liss, expert Trackers from the human village of Glensk Wood, find two of their own gruesomely killed, there can be no doubt: The once safe haven of generations has been laid bare and made vulnerable to whatever still lurks in the wasteland of the outside world.
Together, Ament, the two young Trackers, and a daring Elf princess race to spread word of the encroaching danger—and spearhead plans to defend their ancestral home. But suspicion and hostility among their countrymen threaten to doom their efforts from within—while beyond the breached borders, a ruthless Troll army masses for invasion. And in the thick of it all, the last wielder of the black staff and its awesome magic must find a successor to carry on the fight against the cresting new wave of evil.
Exploring Happineess: From Aristotle to Brain Science by Sissela Bok
In this smart and timely book, the distinguished moral philosopher Sissela Bok ponders the nature of happiness and its place in philosophical thinking and writing throughout the ages. With nuance and elegance, Bok explores notions of happiness – from Greek philosophers to Desmond Tutu, Charles Darwin, Iris Murdoch, and the Dalai Lama – as well as the latest theories advanced by psychologists, economists, geneticists, and neuroscientists. Eschewing abstract theorizing, Bok weaves in a wealth of firsthand observations about happiness from ordinary people as well as renowned figures. This may well be the most complete picture of happiness yet. This book is also a clarion call to think clearly and sensitively about happiness. Bringing together very different disciplines provides Bok with a unique opportunity to consider the role of happiness in wider questions of how we should lead our lives and treat one another – concerns that don’t often figure in today’s happiness equation. How should we pursue, weigh, value, or limit our own happiness, or that of others, now and in the future? Compelling and perceptive, Exploring Happiness shines a welcome new light on the heart of the human condition.
Images: Three Rivers Press, DK Publishing, Scribner, Scholastic Press, Del Rey, Yale University Press