Apparently there’s some kind of Tiger Woods scandal or other going on. I’m not really sure. The media outlets seem to be shy about covering it. In any case, it seems like a good time to remind people of one of my favorite songs “Tiger Woods” by Dan Bern.
I have genuinely loved this song for over a decade. The concept of “going down on Madonna too soon” as a metaphor for peaking early in life is wickedly genius. “Tiger Woods” is from the 1998 Ani DiFranco-produced album “Fifty Eggs,” which is currently out of print but available on iTunes.
BTW, if you’re a rowdy celebrity now’s a really good time to act up: do a Redwood-sized pile of blow at a church or dump a model in the Angeles National Forest—as long as Tiger-banging ladies keep coming forward you’ll probably be able to skate right under the press’s radar.