“IT’S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYYYYS, WHERE YOU DON’T WANNA WAKE UP, SANTA CLAUS IS F–KED, ALL YOUR PRESENTS SUCK” are lyrics that you will not find in the Limp Bizkit parody song below. What you will find, however, are much better lyrics that essentially boil down Fred Durst’s Nu-Metal band into one minute and thirty seconds of sonic perfection.
“Hyeeeeahhh!!!…I threw a wrench at an old man, cause I felt like it, so suck my dick!” This is how “Limp Bizkit Christmas” by writer-comedian Frederick Scott begins, because Durst doesn’t have time for your petty, millennium-old yuletide tradition–he’s too busy trying to find the quickest way to commit a hate crime (not sure agism counts, but I know wrench throwing comes form a place of sheer disdain).
This parody so closely resembles how ludicrous Limp Bizkit sounds that I half expected to be able to search for a YouTube video of the band performing it–I imagine Wes Borland would have gone full Krampus for the video, perhaps making a shitty body suit out of coal and frozen Hungry Man dinners.
Check the track out below and let us know what your favorite line in the song is. Mine is: “I DON’T KNOW ABOUT JUDAISM!”