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The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Friday

Editor’s Note 7/11/2014: Ya been had!! Happy Friday.

It’s not a good sign when I have to introduce a post with an apology, but I am sorry. This song ruined my weekend, and I guess I didn’t know any other way to cope with the trauma than sharing it with all of you. There really is not much else to say. I think the worst part of the song is a five-way tie between the lyrics, music, video, Rebecca Black, and her friends. I am so so sorry:

Comments

  1. Sally says:

    Abbey, if your comment had a “Like” button, I would hit it.

  2. Phil says:

    I just figuratively blew my brains out.

  3. MAXimiliano says:

    Why would you do this to us Matt, what have we done you you bastard?

  4. Abbey says:

    I don’t get it….this is obviously a song for children. It’s like me going to see a My Little Pony movie then standing up at the end and screaming “BULLSHIT”.

    I am getting sick of the “Let’s hate on music that is obviously not marketed or made for us”

  5. Nic says:

    Did not a single lyric rhyme? That’s bull-shit! Not even the rap section! And what the hell is with the start of the chorus? Kicking in the back seat? How is that the start of a chorus? And speaking of the rap section, where the bloody hell did that come from? He just comes out of nowhere and is like 10 years older then everyone else, but acts like they’re all going to hang out together. Frakin’ creepy man! And why are we using the word afterwards properly, but not the word are?!!! Gaahhhhh this is baby’s being raped and then killed by AIDS.

  6. fakey says:

    ITS A TRAAAAAAAAP!!!!!

  7. Nic says:

    Oh, this is what it would be like to be captured by Reavers.

  8. JC says:

    The worst part about this song is that the producers have a whole stable of children singing horrible songs to exploit & torture us with.

    Flip side – if I have amnesia, and don’t remember that Thursday comes before Friday and Saturday follows it, with Sunday afterwards, well this song exists to help teach me that.

  9. Cooter says:

    You are a terrible person for pushing this video off on the rest of us, I salute you for your malice… well played sir, well played

  10. Lincoln says:

    What an inane piece of shit.

    “I’m gonna narrate my life
    And put it to a stupid tune
    Somebody mixed on Garage Band
    While jerking off in their room”

    Look, I’m a songwriter too.

  11. Zach says:

    Oh cool, a zombie video.

  12. P@trick says:

    Apology NOT accepted. You OWE me for cost of my eye surgeon reattaching the eyeball I gouged out with a pen while listening to the song. Damn you, Grosinger! What did we ever do to you?

  13. Don T says:

    i wish they would all get in a car accident and die

  14. JM Bell says:

    Well, you’re pretty much the benevolent leader we’ve all come to deserve through apathetic political behaviours and silly voting … – Wait, what’s the opposite of Benevolent? Ok – You’re pretty much the Hardwick we’ve all come to deserve …

  15. SDGlyph says:

    ow

    ow ow ow ow ow

    Dilemma: do I hate you more for posting it, or myself for reading the warning and clicking on it regardless?

    On the other hand, y’know, the Threadless ad made me smile. So not a complete loss.

  16. Rosie says:

    No es bueno.

  17. PapaFrita says:

    I’m just glad to see braces make it into mainstream music. Everyone’s gonna want them now.

  18. Sally says:

    After that apology, I was expecting something much, much worse. The song was obviously written for nine year olds who think being a teenager is glamorous. I had friends who listened to the same sort of music when I was a kid.
    My favorite part is when they’re “driving on the highway” but sitting on the back of the car with not seatbelts (they’d all be arrested or dead by now) and their hair is *not moving at all*.

  19. BG says:

    I blame her for the earthquake.

  20. Andrew says:

    I love driving in a convertible in front of a shitty green-screen too.

  21. Artie says:

    But on the bright side, after watching that I only need half a calendar, because I now know that Friday comes between Thursday and Saturday, which is followed by Sunday.

    Also, I’m no longer upset by all the girls who wouldn’t go out with me in high school, because now I realize their minds were so clogged with important, pressing issues like “Where to sit?” that they wouldn’t have been much for conversation anyhow.

  22. That song is like three noodle stories running together and set to a woodchipper.

  23. L says:

    It’s like the ring- the only way to live with the horror after seeing the video is to force it onto someone else.

  24. Wesley Marshall says:

    Is it normal that my soul feels gone? Or was it really that fucking horrible?

  25. Wesley Marshall says:

    Is it normal that my soul feels gone? Or was really that fucking horrible.

  26. ihaterebeccablack says:

    Wow, that has got to be one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. That song is exactly what’s wrong with the music industry right now. I can hear the d-bag record company guy now saying, “Let’s have auditions for cute girls that may or may not have talent. Then, we’ll autotune the shit out of her vocals and add a simple beat from 1992. Then we’ll create a music video that looks like something created by Disney and market the shit out of it til we’re rolling in the dough. Hey, it worked for Bieber, right?”

  27. Sturminator says:

    just wow i lasted till 3:14 but i cannot make myself listen to the last 30 seconds i’m gonna go beat my face in with a bat in an attempt to remove this song from my memory……..

    ITS NOT WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. Marisa says:

    I never knew that enunciation could be so annoying.

  29. Naeomen says:

    Holy crap, if it is Saturday…wait for it…Sunday comes afterwards?!? Why am I just hearing about this now?

  30. Andrew Cardona says:

    i lasted 10 seconds, such a horrible voice. will try and listen to how horrible the rest is. *like 3 more seconds.

  31. Robin says:

    O…M….G… her voice is like scratching fingernails across a chalkboard… multiple times. And this is coming from someone who has been known to listen to Ke$ha upon occasion.

  32. Jess says:

    Are you sure this isn’t a SNL digital short?

  33. Sean says:

    Is this serious? It can’t be. It’s a joke right?

  34. Hail Boogie says:

    WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?

  35. Kevin says:

    Damn it! One more thing to add to my daily prayers. Lord, bless all those who foolishly listened to that Rebecca Black song, and please do not ever let Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black get together and have really annoying babies. Amen.

  36. Jake says:

    *brainsplosion*

    I am not entirely sure if I should take this seriously or go and cry in a corner somewhere. What a delightful way to spend a Monday afternoon.

  37. neveranythingclever says:

    *sigh* remember way back when, if you were a brilliant songwriter you could get away with having a mediocre voice (Bob Dylan, Neil Young) or if you weren’t much of a song writer but had a killer voice great songs would be found (the Supremes, most sixties pop music). Now apparently even marginal talent isn’t necessary to be heard.

    I will now try to cleanse that ghastly aberration from my mind with the vastly more soothing sounds of grinding metal, or perhaps screaming animals. Damn you, you sadist for posting this monstrosity.

  38. Jennifer Leech says:

    I am sad that new artist today strive to be like Kesha and not someone who had talent….like any other female artist other than KESHA!

    Now i need to go stab an ice pick into my ears.

  39. Tim says:

    If your day starts by going to the bus stop why do you get in your friend’s convertible? Couldn’t they just pick you up at your house?

    …I’m confused and frightened.

  40. Saso Alauf says:

    fun fun on the autobahn!

  41. J says:

    WTF is that? I envy the deaf now!

  42. Joel says:

    Wow, I suddenly appreciate Justin Bieber.

  43. Kev Weldon says:

    VENGEANCE!

  44. paap says:

    Good call, Matthew! I endured almost 30 seconds.
    Now I’ll have to work just a little harder today to make up for this lost time.

  45. Anita says:

    Lyrical masterpiece!

  46. Annecoultersadamsapple says:

    Females should be barred from making music.

    Having one or two Patti Smith’s is not worth the hundreds of Kesha’s ( I REFUSE TO SPELL IT WITH A DOLLAR SIGN!!!!) that women have produced over the last four decades.

    P.S. the computers at this battered women shelter are garbage, you’d think as the head of staff I’d get to use something better.

  47. Agent Junk says:

    That song makes me hurt inside, where I make feelings. :(

  48. smartbunny says:

    Urp… well at least we know she wrote her own lyrics?

  49. Jeremiah says:

    FUN FUN FUN YAY, I curse you Mr. Grosinger, I curse you!

  50. Joey roses says:

    slantyface