Did you miss last Sunday’s Game of Thrones premiere? Too busy this week to catch up before episode two drops this weekend? Such was the case for the alleged Tommy Shmem, who was so distraught that he wrote a letter to Jimmy Fallon to request a brief recap—only cooler. (Although we have to say, Tommy, you know you could’ve watched half of the episode in the time it took you to write and send your note, right?) Messed-up priorities aside, The Roots’ Black Thought has you covered. This time.
Because last night—at Fallon’s request—The Roots‘ emcee rapped a synopsis of the premiere (obvious spoiler alert) for poor Tommy Shmem. In about a minute, Black Thought (a.k.a. Tariq Luqmaan) managed to rehash the storylines for John Snow, Lady Melisandre, Alliser Thorne, Theon and Sansa (who “were running through the woods / they almost got caught / but made it to the hood”), Cersei, Dynarys, Arya, and Tyrion and Varys (a.k.a. the “bald guy with no balls”).
The rap may not be as comprehensive or as debaucherous as the show itself—and let’s be real, that’s a big part of why we all love Game of Thrones—but it’s succinct as hell. Hopefully that gets you through the week Tommy, and remember to be on top of your game this weekend. Keep falling behind and you’ll soon find yourself way up the Trident without a paddle and surrounded by gray scale-infected Stone Men.
Anything major that Black Thought forgot in his rap? Let Tommy know about them in the comments.