In recent years, there are very few things that strike fear into the hearts of men as much as the phrase “that new Adam Sandler movie” does. This summer we’ll see Pixels hit theaters and while the trailer does look fairly promising, mostly due to Peter Dinklage & Josh Gad being in it, it still is “that new Adam Sandler Movie”.
There’s a chance we might be better off watching the short it was based on repeat for the run-time of its feature length counterpart. In fact, yes, lets do that. Here’s Pixels by Patrick Jean. Watch this 30 times. We’ll wait.
That was great, right!? In his fantastic short, Jean shows us a world where an amorphous blob of pixelated mayhem causes everything to be converted to video game matter. Space invaders attack New York, Arkanoid paddles destroy the support columns of the Brooklyn Bridge, Tetris pieces complete uneven buildings and eliminate them from existence. Frogger seems to be up to no good and even Donkey Kong gets in on the action taking a page from his his… brother? cousin? Are he and King Kong related? Uncle maybe? Anyways, The Donkiest of Kongs scales the the Empire State Building to throw down some serious barrel damage.
The gaming baddies continue their pixelated carnage until everything in sight is nice and blocky. The final shot shows the Earth’s kill screen as it’s converted to one giant pixel peacefully rotating in space.
Will Sandler’s summer blockbuster end this way? The safe bet is no but, in what essentially is a Sandler-fied version of one of the best episodes of Futurama, we hope it at least does the retro gaming aspects justice. As beautifully as the short is, we now give you the Pixels movie trailer:
We can at least rest easy knowing that Pixels the movie looks like it will be chock full of a Wreck-It-Ralph-level of gaming cameos as shown with actor Denis Akiyama playing Pac-Man creator Toru Iwatani. We just hope we don’t have to see Rob Schneider show up in another racially insensitive character like he does in almost all Sandler movies. Retro gaming has some pretty brutal ones and we really don’t need to see him dressed up like this:
What do you think of the Pixels source material? What retro gaming characters do you wish would come to life and preferably not destroy us? Let us know in the comments!