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The Dean’s Rectum, Driving Solo, and the Indignity of Labor: What We Learned At Nerdist This Week

Here in the fabulous U.S. of A. (motto: “Our Power’s Out, The Ground Is Shaking, And The Basement’s Full Of Water”), it’s a long weekend. Monday is Labor Day, honoring Charles E. Labor, the inventor of the clearance sale, and, as always, I’ve been honoring the holiday by wishing I wasn’t working right now. Not that what I’ve been doing Friday afternoon would qualify as “work” under the strict definition of the term, since it’s involved mostly staring at various web pages, casting an occasional eye at the Phillies game in a window at the corner of the monitor, and silently debating whether to take Benadryl to rid myself of this headache, which would pretty much end the work day. My editing and writing skills are even worse when I’m asleep.

The primary traditions of Labor Day are barbecuing and cursing the fact that Labor Day represents the unofficial end of Summer, meaning it’s back to school and back to wearing dark colors and, before you know it, cold and wind and snow, unless you live in relatively warm weather areas, in which case it’s the start of Smug Season, when you start to look forward to calls from friends and family back in your homeland so you can ask them “how’s the weather been?” (They will look forward to the times that they can respond, “Not bad. How are the wildfires/earthquakes/mudslides/Kardashians?”) It is also football season, but this being Nerdist, I’ll stay away from that topic… this week.

Oddly enough, despite the approach of the holiday and the general malaise that fills practically every workplace in the week before a long weekend, the busy beavers at Nerdist have been writing up a storm all week long. Like what? Like this:

1. Booth babes? At PAX, Chris encountered a booth granny. That’s a good way to get people’s attention.

2. Another Girlbot installment involved the raccoon’s rejection of food… where is this going? All will be revealed as the weeks progress.

3. NBC released a Community promo showing your first glimpse of John Goodman as a new faculty member, terrorizing Dean Pelton. The word “rectum” played a major role here.

4. For some reason, IMDB’s listing Chris as in the cast of Die Hard 5. This was news to Chris. And his agent is not the kind of guy who’d fail to tell Chris about that kind of thing. Hmm.

5. Nerdist Podcast: Bryan Cranston, one of the most versatile actors in the business, talking about being Walter White, Malcolm’s father Hal, and other stuff, including “dick grapes.” And Rainn Wilson dropped by with “superhero” Phoenix Jones. Lots going on.

6. Kyle checked in with his review of the return of Doctor Who, “Let’s Kill Hitler.” After noting some annoyances, he decided that, yes, this was a good one.

7. On the scale of trailer mashups, the syncing of the new movie Drive with Star Wars was pretty far up there. Han Solo as driver-for-hire… that works.

Photo: University Medical Center

8. Sandra did a quick look at Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody, because everyone needs a little Wookiee once in a while.

9. We got to see one of the most gruesome accidents ever, in which an 86-year-old guy ended up with pruning shears embedded in his head… and he lived and they saved the eye. It hurt just to think about it. And the Taiwanese news animation folks had their way with the story, too.

10. Jake did an analysis of meta humor, which was about an article about an article about comedy. Not really, but you get the idea.

11. Someone came up with an allegedly better way to board an airplane. I was, and remain, skeptical.

12. Patrick posted the PC Gamer press conference from PAX Prime, one way to show some love to non-console gamers.

13. Chris posted a photo of himself, Jonah, Matt, Bryan Cranston, and Rainn Wilson. And Phoenix Jones. Phoenix let Chris hold the shield.

14. Matthew B. posted his appreciation of Josh Gad, not just for his huge success on Broadway in The Book of Mormon but for his web series Gigi: Almost American.

15. Chris was on an all-star version of The Green Room with Paul Provenza. Eddie Izzard, Judah Friedlander, Jimmy Carr, and Tim Minchin were on there, too. Showtime’s rerunning it all over their several channels in case you missed it. And have Showtime. I don’t. I probably should.

16. Emily teased Friday’s NerdMelt event with a Keith Apicary video. You cannot watch the video without smiling. And, yes, that’s Martin Starr with the radio.

17. The latest edition of Kyle’s “Dissecting Trailers” looked at the trailers for B-movie sci-fi. Sometimes, the trailers are more fun than the actual movies.

18. I kinda felt compelled to post something about the George Lucas Star Wars Blu-ray changes, but I did it my way, with a video by the estimable Gerry Duggan that had Jabba the Hutt singing “Baby Got Back.” If Lucas did THAT kind of tinkering with the movie, I might go out and buy a Blu-ray player just to see it.

19. Becca enthused about Josie Charlwood, who used loops to do a one-woman-band version of Gorillaz’ “Feel Good Inc.” Cool version of great song.

20. Jon gave you some guidance about picking your first stock. I don’t remember what mine was, other than that it probably lost money.

21. Patrick admitted that he doesn’t like Mass Effect and asked you about the games everyone else seemed to like that you… didn’t.

22. It was Matthew G.’s turn for the Music Geek Track of the Week, and his choice was Thundercat‘s cover of George Duke’s “For Love (I Come Your Friend).”

23. Danny posted a picture of Amy Mebberson’s art depicting the Muppets as Doctor Who characters. Can’t go wrong by combining two Nerdist obsessions.

24. Podcasts: Ali’s gone back east, so Emily joined her hubby Kumail as the newest member of the Indoor Kids, and they were in turn joined by Steve Agee, who returned to help them respond to your letters. Riki’s Making It featured a visit by her Last House on the Left co-star Sara Paxton, who told stories about growing up in the Valley, starring in Darcy’s Wild Life, and what happens when you’re in a mermaid costume and you gotta go wee-wee. Sex Nerd Sandra hosted comic Dave Ross and her friend Elaine Smith for a spirited discussion of things like BJs and brothels. That would make a good album title. Another Nerdist Writer’s Panel had Ben hosting Douglas Petrie, Alexa Junge, Josh Friedman, and Michael Green. Todd Glass finally served up the Henry Phillips aftershow, with music.

25. The week closed out with another hostful podcast, and while it’s just now been posted and I haven’t heard it yet, Chris’ description includes the line, “Chris wishes he had had sex with Cloris Leachman in the 50s,” and that’s more information than I needed.

Hey, I just realized… it’s now Labor Day weekend and I’m still working! This will not stand, you know, this aggression will not stand. I’m outa here. Go enjoy your holiday burrito. Or your barbecue. Either one. Enjoy whatever you have.

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  1. eric says:

    Actually, I love labor day PRECISELY BECAUSE it signals the end of breath-robbing sweltering summers and the coming of snow, sleet, and slimming winter wear. And I love DEVO. Thanks!