Editor’s note: The following post contains potential spoilers for the Game of Thrones season 6 finale, so read on at your own peril.
On Sunday night, more than 8 million people tuned in to watch the epic, super-sized Game of Thrones season six finale. There were explosive reveals, shocking deaths, and more than a few unanswered questions. One of those questions centered around everyone’s favorite chrome-domed, robe-sporting, pithy spymaster extraordinaire, Varys. When we last saw the mysterious eunuch, he had bade Tyrion Lannister adieu in Meereen to go on a secret mission. As we learned in “The Winds of Winter,” that mission was to forge an alliance with House Martell and House Tyrell, convincing them to lend their military might to Daenerys Targaryen’s ever-growing armada. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Varys appears alongside Dany, Tyrion, and Missandei aboard the fleet’s flagship at the episode’s end. How did he get there?!
Now there’s a logical explanation. According to Game of Thrones writer/producer Bryan Cogman, it was a narrative decision designed to maintain the show’s momentum:
And then there’s the geographical argument. In Westeros, House Martell is situated in Dorne, which is located on the southeastern tip of the continent. Essentially, it is the Florida of Westeros. Dany and her fleet set sail from Meereen in the newly christened Bay of Dragons, which is located to the southeast of Dorne, across the Narrow Sea in Essos. In order to set sail for King’s Landing, Dany and her fleet would naturally pass by the Dornish peninsula, which would allow for Varys and the Dornish ships to meet them en route. You can take a look on this interactive map of Westeros for more context.
But those reasons are complete hogwash. Utter nonsense. Lies told to you by Big Thrones because they don’t want you to know the terrible truth. Today on The Dan Cave, we’re going to blow the lid off this conspiracy theory, which comes from corners of the internet including Tinfoil Hat Theories, Reddit, A Wiki of Ice and Fire, and Cracked: The way that Varys is able to get from point A to point B to point sea in record time is, in fact, because he is secretly a merman. Or, more specifically in Game of Thrones parlance, a merling. And he may be part of a vast merling conspiracy that will drown most of the world’s populace. Is it too good to be true? Is it so crazy it just might work? Find out today on The Dan Cave as we go down the water-logged rabbit hole of the craziest fan theory yet.
Featured Image: HBO
Don’t miss a single episode of The Dan Cave! Subscribe to this playlist.
Tired of getting kicked out of restaurants for being topless? Buy a The Dan Cave t-shirt!