The Duplass Brothers-produced comedy, The Bronze, a film about a female gymnast who’s hanging onto former glory—and free food—by the thin threads of her puffy team jacket, has had what Hollywood folk would call a “soft opening.” But the film’s star, Hope Annabelle Greggory (Melissa Rauch), is living up to the idea behind her name, ignoring the critics, and already pushing for a sequel. And if you think she’s screwing around, note her new backup: championship figure skater, celebrity boxer, and genuinely frightening knuckle-cracker, Tonya Harding.
This duo ain’t no pair of “f***ing ice princesses.”
In the above video, Hope and Harding take a faux meeting with what appears to be generic Hollywood execubot beta, to discuss the possibility of a sequel to The Bronze, which also stars Gary Cole (Veep, Office Space—mmmm yeah, I’m gonna need you to come in on the weekend), Thomas Middleditch (Silicon Valley’s Richard), Sebastian Stan (you know, The Winter Soldier himself!), Cecily Strong (SNL), Haley Lu Richardson, and Dale Raoul. Unfortunately, in order for that to happen, it seems that Hope’s going to have to become more “likable.”
“Likable” isn’t really Hope’s thing though, as evidenced by her smile(?), and the stated fact that she changes for nobody. Harding doesn’t really help her cause either, as she consistently threatens the execubot, ultimately dubbing him a “silly little bitch.” Hope does manage to leave the office with some extra cash though, as well as a promise that amounts to closing the pay gap between men and women in Hollywood, which is admirable. That sequel still probably isn’t happening though, but for the love of Olympic gold medals, nobody tell Tonya Harding that to her face.
The Bronze is in theaters now, and for a brief taste of (former) glory, here’s the trailer:
What do you think about this Hollywood “meeting”? Should there be a sequel? And will you have nightmares about Tonya Harding quadruple flipping you the bird? Let us know in the comments section below!
Images: Sony Pictures Classics