My fellow Meatbags—
As you might already know, Futurama is returning to TV at the end of this month. I’m so excited about it, I thought I’d do a post this week on some fictional Futurama tech. Namely, the three Futurama gadgets I want the most. I have decided, for the kids, not to include this as one of them:
Mmmmm, crack. Instead, I’ll start with:
1.) Dr. FlimFlam’s Miracle Cream
With great power comes great responsibility. With all the idiots in the world, I feel that it is my responsibility to give them a good bitch-slap. Sadly, I lack any kind of powers. That’s why I want Dr. FlimFlam’s Miracle Cream. Though it’s prescribed for simple aches and pains, it has the side effect of causing superpowers in humans, including super-strength and lickety-speed, and the ability to command sea creatures (sometimes), as seen in “Less Than Hero”.
2.) Lucy Liubot
My reasons for this one should be pretty obvious, although I would probably go with a Marilyn Monroe-bot instead. It’s nothing against Lucy Liu, it’s just that the name works out better. Plus, with the vast library of celebrities at Kidnappster, I could download both Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag and have them fight to the death.
I’m not an artist. My photoshop skills are middling at best, and I can’t draw worth a crap. As proof, here’s a drawing I did of me as Iron Man punching Glenn Beck in the face:
See? It’s frustrating to have all of these images in my head that I want to express, but completely lack the artistic talent to do so. That’s why I want a Holophonor.
The Holophonor showed up in two awesome episodes, one in which Fry gets a colony of worms that make him super-smart, and again in the first series finale, “The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings”…easily one of the best (if not the best) episodes of the series. When played, the Holophonor emits a bagpipe/clarinet hybrid sound, and also creates holographic images from the musician’s thoughts. Admittedly, the Holophonor is kind of a shocking choice…there are so many awesome gadgets on Futurama that are probably much more useful that I could have put on this list. But how else am I going to show you the epic battle between the Space Dinosaurs and the army of David Bowie clones that I’m thinking about?
If you’re a Futurama fan, leave a comment with the Futurama invention you’d want, your favorite episode, or whom you’d like to punch in the face!