Fact: I have not completely adored a Tim Burton Movie since Ed Wood.
Fact the Deuce: I have not actively anticipated a Tim Burton film in pretty much the same amount of time. (And to that end, the last one that felt more or less like a worthwhile exercise in anticipation was Big Fish, which I seem to have enjoyed more than just about everyone.)
Fact Part Three: Dark Shadows aired on KDOC in Southern California in the late ’80s, and owing to my mother’s having watched it as a young newlywed and re-discovering it alongside me – the one with the burgeoning love of genre TV (even ones with flubbed lines and visible boom mikes, but copious amounts of style, man…) – I fell in love with it.
Il Facto Quattro: HOLY SHIT, THIS IS HAPPENING:
Look, I know that this EW “exclusive” image from Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows feature probably amounts to damage control after those set pics which leaked, making Johnny Depp look more a cast-off from one of his Willy Wonka wardrobe tests than the iconic Barnabas Collins, the original-emo-gangsta-vampire. He looks a lot better here, though they are still exaggerating those well-known jaggedy bangs slightly. Also, I’m a little turned off by the too-adolescent costume choice for Bella Heathcoate’s Vicki Winters. Everyone else is aces, even the age-regressed Carolyn (Chloe Moretz) and especially Helena Bonham Carter, who’s “Oh, Tim cast the missus again” stigma is completely negated by the fact that she looks SO MUCH like Grayson Hall, the original Julia Hoffman. Seriously, that’s fucking uncanny. If she channels Hall’s trademark batty hysterics, it will be worth the price of admission alone:
Look, the point of this blog is that I need one or more of you to hold my hand in the comments and convince me not to get too excited. We all know what it’s like to reach a point where you aim not to get too excited by a filmmaker who has let you down an number of times, and I’m pretty good about that generally. Someone tell me to lower the bar slightly and not get all giggity-pants about Jonny Lee Miller’s perfect smug Roger Collins sneer… or Michelle Pfieffer’s brittle Elizabeth Stoddard-like pout… or the fact that we’ve been promised cameos by four of the biggest actors from the original series, including original Barnabas Jonathan Frid. (And smokin’ hot werewolf relative Quentin, David Selby… and, seriously, put a boot in my ass before I start going on about how perfect Michael Fassbender would be as Quentin in a sequel. SWEET BABIES, STOP ME THIS INSTANT.)